Like a phoenix
by Its-perfectly-reckless
Summary: If they were going to survive the fall of the Seireitei, they were going to have to run like Hell, burn down the past, and rise from the ashes. - Rated M for future content. * I do not own bleach or the characters depicted within. * Cover image by Agnes Michele
1. The war is over

**A/N: So here is the beginning of something I have been thinking about writing for awhile. I don't have a plan for this piece the way I do with my others, but it will be multi chapter and I'll update as often as I can. Enjoy! As always, leave me a review!**

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Aizen won. He'd really won, the battle they'd fought so hard to win. The end of everything they knew was upon them, everything they held dear was crumbling and dying in front of their eyes. It was surreal, completely unbelievable, his mind caught in a haze of fear and disbelief as he made his way through what used to be the grounds of the 13th. There was almost nothing left of the division, it had been all but leveled, leaving a large charred crater in the earth where it used to sit.

Re entering Soul Society through the garganta that Urahara had opened for himself and Kenpachi, there was chaos everywhere. Falling debris and smoke filled the air, explosions almost one after another, and some of them closer than he would have liked. As usual, Kenpachi ran off with a maniacal grin on his face, hungry for his next fight. If what they'd heard was true, he was most likely going to get himself killed very shortly. It might seem cowardly, but his instincts told him that if he wanted to live, it was time to run like hell, his pride be damned. If he was caught, Aizen might not even kill him...but the thought of being a slave to that psycho was worse than death.

Naturally, Rukia was the first person he thought of and rushed to find. Unfortunately it looked as though if she'd been on the grounds of her division when it was attacked, she was likely dead. He had to believe that wasn't true though, that she was still alive and safe somewhere. He could feel Senkaimons being opened all around Seireitei, so hopefully, as much as he hated to even think it, she was with Kurosaki or Renji. They would both give their lives to keep her safe if it came to it. Though he didn't know what was left of Karakura after the Ouken was created, if they went there he was sure they'd find a place to hide out, maybe even venture to another city all together.

He would find her eventually, but if he didn't get out of there soon, escape wouldn't be an option anymore. Hiding his spiritual pressure, he made his way towards the Kuchiki mansion as quietly as possible. He needed to grab supplies like clothing, some basic food and as much money as he could, enough for two people to survive with, for when he found his sister. With arrancar running wild, he had to duck behind debris and the corners of crumbling buildings several times on his way.

There were fires raging everywhere he turned, the putrid smell of smoke and burning flesh reaching his nose. Even his own division had not been spared, most of the roof now caved in on itself and the training grounds awash in dead bodies, ally and enemy alike. While that told him that his men didn't go down without a fight, it was still a little hard to look at. He kept moving right past it all, figuring there was nothing there that would help him now.

Finally his home came into view, looking empty and almost untouched, but he knew that wouldn't last long. Moving faster than he thought he could, he grabbed a large duffle bag and ripped his closet door open. Tossing in as much clothing as he could grab in two handfuls, ripping the fabrics from their hangers without remorse. Next, he stripped off his captains haori, windflower scarf, tekko and kenseikan, adding them into the bag. He didn't want to be easily recognized as he moved through the wreckage of the Seireitei. There were several places where he had money stored and he collected from as many of them as he could between his room and the kitchen storage. Once he felt he had everything he needed he stopped to take one last look at the place he'd called home his entire life, there was no time to be distraught, but he was sure to miss it later. His favorite quiet spot, with the koi pond and the sakura tree was sure to be destroyed before too long and he felt a pang of sadness and anger comimg from his zanpaktou.

Bag slung over his body to keep it secure, and Senbonzakura safe at his side, he ventured back out into the pandemonium and wreckage. The sound of people screaming as if they were being tortured would surely haunt his dreams for the rest of his life. But there was no time to think about that, he needed to find a safe place to open a Senkaimon, keeping an eye out for Rukia and dodging enemies as he searched. Time was quickly dwindling, making his chances of finding her slimmer by the second.

"Lord Aizen is shutting down their Senkaimon access, no one else is gonna be able to escape. Once we've got 'em all rounded up we're to meet at the first division grounds for a roll call and further instructions." He overheard as he crouched behind a hedge of bushes.

Shit. Now what was he going to do? His only option was to try and flee into the Rukongai, or worse into the woods beyond. While he'd camped in the woods on missions plenty of times, he really didn't know anything about actually living out there, without pre prepared supplies and shelter. If only he could find Rukia, she would know how to survive, and better yet she was familiar with the Rukongai which would be at a great advantage to their ability to fly under Aizens radar. Unfortunately he needed to get out while he still could, the proverbial noose was beginning to cinch around his throat.

He'd be damned if he got caught and enslaved by that megalomaniac, even if it meant leaving Rukia behind. He was out of time to find her. Besides, he'd be of more use to her and everyone else as a free man, he would find a way to save them all, even if it cost him his life, of that he was sure. It would take time and patience though, so for now he needed to ensure that he got as far away as he could in the next 24 hours.

Spiritual pressure as low as he could get it, he moved at full speed towards the southern exit of the Seireitei. Not because he knew where he was going, but because it was the closest route to freedom. He was almost to the gate when he heard twigs snap, alerting him to a presence nearby. Stopping abruptly he ducked behind a tree, waiting to see if the enemy would pass.

Everything was silent, the only sound that reached him was someone's heavy breathing. It could be an injured shinigami, or it could be an injured enemy. He wasn't sure he wanted to find out, but decided that if they didn't pass by soon, he'd take his chances. Suddenly a voice cut through the air around him, a woman's voice, one that sounded somehow familiar.

"Ow...son of a bitch. I'm never gonna make it out of here like this." She said out loud, still trying to be quiet in case of enemies nearby. She'd tripped on the root of a large tree and fell hard.

Her plan had been to get out to the Rukongai and then open a senkaimon once she was there. That way none of Aizens men could get to her before she got through, even in her current condition. She'd watched in horror as Gin failed to kill Aizen, running to his side after he'd been struck down by the mad man, begging him not to die, not to leave her. Once it was clear that Ichigo and the others were fighting a losing battle he begged her to run, to get out of there and find a way to survive while she still had the chance. As much as she would rather die at his side, he'd made her promise to go, and not look back. So no matter the pain in her heart, she honored what was possibly his final wish.

Unfortunately her escape had not been as clean a getaway as she wanted it to be. Kira hadn't healed her completely before she ran off to try and stop Aizen and Gin, and it was biting her in the ass now, slowing her down more and more. She was woozy from the blood loss, tired from the running, low on spiritual pressure, and worst of all she was starting to cough up blood. But her goal was in sight, it was just a little further and she could find a place to lay low and recover before heading for the living world.

Trying to get up and brush herself off, she swore she heard something, feeling a presence nearby, and attempted to ready herself for an attack. Reaching a hand back and gripping Hainekos hilt she surveyed her surroundings with caution, her heart beating faster with anticipation. She caught movement out of the corner of her eye, turning to face the threat head on, and braced herself for the fight of her life, literally. Looking up into the eyes of the one who would surely kill her, she couldn't fight much in her condition, she was surprised to see a somewhat familiar face.

"Lieutenant Matsumoto?" His deep baritone asked in disbelief.

"Captain Kuchiki?" It had taken her a second to recognize him without his usual adornments.

"You're hurt...let me help you up." Moving to her side and placing an arm around her waist, lifting her from the ground and onto her feet.

"Thank you."

"Can you still walk? We have to get out of here quickly." Placing one of her arms over his shoulders for support.

Before she could answer him they heard a commotion in the distance, voices getting closer to their location. Ducking behind a tree, he lowered them both to the ground.

"Hey! We've gotta get that gate sealed up, let's go! Quit fooling around!" A male voice coming from somewhere behind them.

"Go. Leave me." She said without hesitation. He still had a chance if he left that moment.

"I can't just leave you, it wouldn't be right." He argued.

"Look, my adrenaline is wearing off, I can barely walk...I'll only slow you down, just go while you still can...I'll distract them and make sure you get away." Pulling away from him.

"Using an injured woman to ensure my own safety...what kind of man would I be?" Lifting her into his arms and launching into shunpo all in the same beat.

The world around her blurred, his neck and chest the only things she could see with her head against his chest. What was he doing? He couldn't really carry her all the way to safety...could he? Even if he could, where was he headed? Did he have a plan, or was he just running blind? And why would he bother, she was practically dead on her feet. Healing her would keep her alive, but it would take her far to long to recover completely. She really hoped he knew what he was doing.

"Where are we going?" She asked, her voice just above a whisper, she could feel her eyelids getting heavy as she fought to stay awake.

"Senkaimon access has been shut down, so we can't escape to the living world. Our only hope is to disappear in the Rukongai, or the woods beyond. My aim for now is the forest and we can figure it out from there. For now, get some rest, you'll need it if you're going to make a full recovery." His tone soft and calm.

Damn, she should have known Aizen would shut down all of their exits as soon as possible. He'd want to watch them all squirm, like rats trying to escape a maze. If Kuchiki somehow failed to get them out of there before the gate was sealed, there would be no hope for them. They would surely be found sooner than later. She was still trying to process the fact that the captain was taking her with him. They didn't even know each other, why would he risk his freedom to drag her along? It didn't make any sense, but her vision faded out along with her consciousness before she could ponder the situation any further.

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Tired, bleary eyes cracked open, squinting from the brightness that assaulted them. She was in a tent, sleeping on a cot, but couldn't remember how she got there. Her head felt like it was going to explode and her body felt like she'd been hit by a truck.

"Welcome back...how are you feeling?" A voice to her left.

"Captain Kuchiki...I feel like shit to be honest." Her mind slowly coming back to her.

"Please Matsumoto, you do not need to address me by title...we are no longer officers of the Gotei...as far as anyone is concerned we are just normal plus souls." He said, a hint of sadness and regret in his tone. She chose to disregard it for now.

"How am I even alive? Did you heal me?" Touching her right side, which had been badly damaged the last time she'd seen it.

"I did. Unfortunately I had to wait until I felt we were far enough away to use kido. I didn't want to draw attention, or give away our location. Thereby prolonging your recovery."

"Well, thank you...for saving me. How long have I been out?" She questioned, testing the idea of sitting up.

"Several days. I was beginning to get worried...I must admit that seeing you awake gives me a sense of relief." A look of sincere concern flashing across his face before he turned his gaze away.

"Did you also change my clothes?" Realizing that she was not in her torn, soiled uniform anymore. She could swear a light blush took over his cheeks.

"Yes, even our standard uniforms are recognizable to people in the Rukongai. I figured it would be easier to blend in...I assure you I did nothing inappropriate...nor did I look any more than I had to." He replied, images of her half naked body flashing through his mind, making his face feel warm.

"It was a good idea...but this fabric is far too expensive for anyone in the lower Rukongai. At a glance it works, but if we got too close to someone, we'd become targets immediately." She said offhandedly.

"I suppose it wouldn't matter what I put us in, I don't...didn't own anything made from cheap linen...No offense." He never thought he'd feel bad for being wealthy, but there he was.

"It's alright. It works for now but we've got a lot to think about, and we need to move as soon as possible. Where'd you get the camping supplies?"

"I found one of the packs the squads use for camping and managed to carry it along with us." He responded, neglecting to tell her that he'd taken it off the back of one of her good friends, a dead Shuhei Hisagi.

He didn't think that she needed to hear about that at the moment, so he 'd spare her the gory details. He also left out the fact that the extra weight had caused him to run out of energy much sooner than planned, that he'd collapsed against a tree trunk with her in his arms for several hours before he could even move enough to set up camp, let alone heal her in any manner. He was just glad she'd survived until he had the ability to do so.

"Any more questions?" He asked, changing the subject, lest he let something slip.

"Yeah...just one...Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did you risk your life and your freedom to bring me with you? Why take the chance of being found just to save my life? We don't even know each other...what use was I in that condition?" Her voice going quiet as her gaze focused on the ground.

"For starters, you are my colleague... You were hurt and in need of assistance, what kind of captain...no, what kind of man would leave a comrade behind to die? Even if I couldn't save you, you deserved a more dignified death than the one that monster would give you...and secondly, I realized that I have no idea how to blend in and survive out here. I have never needed to fend for myself before, at least not the way I need to now...but you, you grew up in Rukongai. It can only be an advantage to have someone like you by my side." He hated admitting that he needed help, his pride wounded, but he had to if he wanted her to stay with him.

"Oh...I guess that makes sense...either way I appreciate it, no matter your reasons." Giving him a small smile.

"It was no problem, really. Here, you need to regain your strength." Handing her two of the onigiri he had left in the food supply.

"Thanks...so I guess we need to figure out what to do next...we can't stay here forever. Where are we anyways?" Biting into the food unabashedly and getting right down to business. He hadn't really been expecting that, considering he'd always heard that she was a bit of a slacker. But he was grateful nonetheless, she wasn't even back on her feet yet and she was already trying to pull her weight.

"Yes. I didn't want to try and plan too far ahead without you...we're out beyond the 80th district right now, but I have no idea where the best place to go from here is."

"Well, for starters, what district is Rukia from?" He could see bits of rice threatening to fall as she spoke with her mouth full.

"The 78th...Why?"

"Alright. I'm from the 64th, so that'll be the first place he'd look for me. It would stand to reason he might look for you in the 78th if he knows you're alive. So we shouldn't go to either of those districts at all, it would be much too risky"

"Hmm...I suppose. That does leaves us quite a few other districts as options, but I'm curious. You seem to think that Aizen would look for you specifically, why is that?"

"Because of Gin...you weren't there, but I was. He was apparently playing double agent and tried to kill Aizen before the hogyoku could finish his transformation. Unfortunately he failed, and after pretending to get rid of me. I just wouldn't put it past the man to take out his anger on me in place of Gin...cause I'm pretty sure that if his injuries didn't finish him off...that bastard did." Blinking away tears and shaking her head as if to clear the images.

"While it's true that we have plenty of options, what we really need to do is make him stop looking for us all together...if we can. It's safer if he thinks we're dead." Focusing on the task at hand.

"You mean like...fake our deaths? Do you have any ideas on how?" He was intrigued by her thought process. In the few days that had passed, he'd never once entertained that line of thinking. That was something that only a survivor would think of, something he'd never had to consider until now.

"Well...there's one way...but I'm not sure either of us could go through with it..." A distant look in her eyes.

"There aren't many choices for us right now if we're going to stay out of the grip of a wannabe God. We might just have to do something we don't like...probably many things."

The likes of which he wasn't sure he was ready for.


	2. Falling off the map

**A/N: Alright! Chapter two is officially here! Again, I do not have much of a plan for this, so even I don't know where it's going lol. But I hope you enjoy as always. Also it came to my attention that my shout out to miladygothika recently, did not show up, so here's another for you love!**

 **I don't say it enough, but I love all of the reviews and messages I get about my stories. I love each and every one of you that take the time out of your day to read my creations! And to the guests who review, please consider creating an account so that I can respond to your reviews, I love to chat with my readers!**

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 _"There aren't many choices for us right now if we're going to stay out of the grip of a wannabe God. We might just have to do something we don't like...probably many things."_

 _The likes of which he wasn't sure he was ready for._

"It makes me sick just to think about it...but...well, we need two dead bodies..." She began, the look on his face changing immediately.

"You want us to kill people?!" He whispered harshly, as if afraid someone would hear him uttering the phrase.

"No! No, not at all! I'm not a murderer...jeez. What I mean is...well, in Rukongai, mostly in the lowest districts...there are usually bodies left in alleys and such... a lot of people die there everyday." She couldn't believe she was even suggesting such a thing. But she was nothing, if not a survivor, so it was all or nothing.

"We...ugh...we dress them in our uniforms and such...and...and...burn them." A wave of nausea hit as the words escaped her.

"Burn them?" He didn't sound angry, just sincerely confused.

"Well, it won't really be us...so we need to make them as unrecognizable as possible...at least...I feel like that's our best option..."

What was she even saying? He probably thought she was some kind of crazy person. After all what kind of sane person suggests finding and burning the bodies of the recently deceased? With it out in the open and hanging in the air between them it suddenly felt a little harder to breath. Her hands were shaking and her leg was bouncing nervously as she waited to see what he was going to say.

"Matsumoto...take a deep breath and try to relax, you are not well yet and stressing yourself is not going to help any." His tone soothing and calm.

"I understand it's upsetting to think about...but thinking logically...it is the best thing we can do to keep him off of our trail." He said after a moments silence.

"You really think so? You don't think I'm a horrible person for even thinking it?" Her surprise evident in her voice.

"Yes. I do not think you a horrible person...I think you are a smart person. I would have never thought of such a solution."

"Thank you." Letting out a breath she hadn't known she was holding.

"I can see that the idea of going through with such a thing makes you uncomfortable, and I will not lie, it makes me feel the same. But if you wish to not be a part of such a thing, I am willing to do it alone."

"Oh...that's very kind of you Kuchiki...but as uncomfortable as it makes me, I'm going. It's my idea, how could I let you do it all yourself? Though you _are_ going to have to do most of the heavy lifting...literally. I don't think I'll be much help in that area...unfortunately." She said with regret.

"I was expecting as much anyways. We do not have to do it right away, get some more rest and in the morning we can go into the Rukongai and see if there is any evidence that we're being hunted out this far already. How does that sound?" Getting up and throwing a bundle of kindling into what looked like a make shift fire pit.

"It sounds like a plan. We should also look into supplies to change our appearances, like hair dye and bleach for starters. If we want people to think we're dead, we need to become less recognizable and blend in more."

"That's going to be easier for you than me...I can tell already." He said quietly.

"Don't worry, I'll help turn you into a common street rat in no time." Sitting on the ground beside him as the fire came to life.

"That would be appreciated...you have my gratitude."

"No problem, but you should start with trying to lose that aristocratic manner of speech...no one out here talks like that." Nudging him and giving him a wink and a smile.

"I'll do my best." The corner of his mouth turning up into a smirk.

There was a lot to do in the few days that followed. Aizen had indeed put out word that he was looking for them, and all the others that might have gotten away, via posters with their pictures on them. Large rewards were being offered for them, dead or alive. He didn't say it, but seeing that Rukia was on that list made Byakuya feel relieved that she wasn't suffering under the new ruler, she could see it in his face and posture when he'd caught sight of it. On the other hand, _not_ seeing Toshiros picture had the exact opposite effect on her, making her heart drop into her stomach at the thought of what he might be dealing with...if he was even still alive. It was hard not knowing what happened to their friends and family.

While they were in the Rukongai she'd picked up hair dye, bleach, scissors and a comb and brush, as well as shampoo and conditioners. Changing their appearance was the first thing she was worried about getting done. It wouldn't do to be recognized before they could fall off the map. That would mean their efforts to get away would end up in vain, all for naught.

Starting with him when they'd returned to camp, she'd managed to give him a decent cut that complimented his face well, despite the stubborn locks that were trained to hang in his face, after years in his kenseikan. It was shorter than it had been, but not by too much, the color change would do most of the work for his new look. Once it was dry again, it was time to bleach it, and she hesitated. It had felt wrong to do such damage to hair as soft and silky as his.

"Have you ever done anything to your hair besides washing it? Like dye or bleach?" She asked, trying to buy herself a moment.

"I never needed, nor wanted to. Why?"

"Virgin hair...this is gonna burn. It might even break some of your hair off if it does too much damage. You're gonna need a deep conditioning afterwards to try and keep it healthy."

"If that is what you suggest...you are the expert here."

"You're not worried about it at all?" Taken aback by his nonchalance. She would think he was proud of his hair, as well taken care of as it was.

"Matsumoto, I assure you, if it means not getting dragged into the Seireitei, I am fine. I've already sacrificed my pride by running, sacrificing my hair pales in comparison to that." Looking away from her and out into the forest.

"Besides, it will grow back eventually anyways."

"Alright, here goes nothing." Starting with the layer at the bottom of his head.

He handled it well, but she could tell that it hurt, letting the bleach do it's job could be really rough on the scalp. She knew from first hand experience. She'd once lightened her hair so that she could dye it this beautiful pearl pink color. It hadn't lasted long, and she wasn't sure it had been worth the pain, but she had still rocked it like a Hollywood star would. What she wouldn't give to be that carefree again.

Once he was finished, she helped him style it before getting ready to do her own locks. She couldn't believe it, it seemed unfair, but he was somehow even more handsome as a blonde. It made it hard to not just stand there and admire him. But while she'd gone lighter with his hair, hers was to go dark, as dark as the raven color his had been previously. It was also cut quite a bit shorter, hanging just above her shoulders now instead of down to her backside.

"Well...how does it look?" She asked, making her way into their shared tent.

"It...suits you." He wasn't sure what to say.

She was a beautiful woman to be sure. But the new cut and color somehow made that more obvious. The way her hair framed her face now made her cheekbones seem more prominent, and the new dark pigment made her already stunning blue eyes pop, shining like cerulean gems against it.

"You think? I guess I shouldn't really care right now...but I've never had hair this dark before. I'm worried it washes me out...makes me look too pale."

"There is nothing to worry about, you look lovely." And he wasn't lying.

Finally, a few days later, and after much searching, they had found the deceased that would most closely resemble them without being able to look too intently. And it was almost three in the morning before she decided that it would be safe to make their move. Using the dark as cover, they dressed and dragged them to the spot they had agreed on. It had not been a pleasant experience, seeing a dead body wearing his noble clans trademark items, nor had setting them to flame. It had been especially hard for her to burn the pink scarf that Ichimaru had gifted to her when they were young, he was sure it was all she had left of the man. She didn't make a show, or sob uncontrollably though, just a few silent tears rolling down her face as they watched the flames grow. All they could do now was hope their plan worked.

With that out of the way, up next was finding and getting settled into a new residence. She'd been surprised at the amount of money he'd managed to bring along, and at first had insisted that she couldn't let him use it to take care of her. It was his, and she would find work to support herself. But he'd eventually convinced her that he had always planned on taking care of two people with it, relieving her from the burden of worrying about it. He found it admirable, the way she was so against letting him take care of her, completely prepared to handle things for herself, as she always had in the past. It showed an inner strength that could only have come from life in the Rukongai.

She told him that they had plenty of money to survive, for quite some time, if they weren't lavish about things and lived as frugally as possible. As someone who'd never had to worry about a budget before, spending when and where he liked without worry, he told her that he would trust her with that particular detail of their new lives. Again, she resisted at first, but eventually gave in and accepted the responsibility. He was positive that she would do a much better job at it than he would.

Soon she'd found them a modest, very small, two bedroom, shack-like housing unit in the 52nd district with a landlord that didn't ask too many questions. Though to be honest he didn't really like the way the man unabashedly ogled her without shame. It gave him the creeps personally, but while he was around he was sure the man wouldn't dare try anything funny. She also procured two basic futons, toiletries and some simple clothing for them, all in one afternoon. Food supplies would come the following day as she was too tired after all of that, she hadn't really rested like she should have and was still recovering from her injuries.

He'd managed to chop and stock firewood for the fireplace, which had been much harder than he'd anticipated, and he assumed he would not need to do it again until after the winter passed and spring was blooming. It had taken him most of the day, so if they ran out, or needed to chop more in the dead of winter, he was going to be a little irked. The sun was starting to sink below the horizon by the time he finished and he was happy to see that she had brought dinner home with her. He was absolutely famished and ate everything so fast he almost didn't taste it.

"So I was thinking...would it be alright to share a room for a while?" Popping the last takoyaki in her mouth.

"Hmm? Why would we need to share? I thought we got two bedrooms so we would each have our own space." Not that he was opposed to the idea, he just didn't understand her request.

"Well...so far, we can't be sure our plan to disappear into the masses of the Rukongai has worked. If we're being sought out, wouldn't it be better to be together if we were found? The two of us could fight off an enemy easier than either of us alone." Sipping her tea and taking a deep breath.

"And besides...it's so empty in there it's kind of creepy. I don't think I could sleep alone in there right now...it's scary." Those azure orbs almost pleading with him.

"If that is the case, then I see no problem with it. It is true that there's strength in numbers after all, and I can understand feeling scared, especially of late." She was a strong warrior of the Gotei, but understandably she had fears and weaknesses as well. It would benefit them both to try and help her feel secure.

So after dinner, they picked which room to share and set their futons up side by side, with only a few feet between them. He hadn't shared a bedroom with anyone except his wife before, so it felt strange to have her in what he considered his personal space. But it was manageable, so he wouldn't complain.

Finally settled in for the night, he turned on his side to say goodnight to her, only to find her sound asleep. She was surely exhausted, so he wasn't really surprised, but glad to see that she could rest so easily in his presence. Sleeping around someone required a great deal of trust, considering how vulnerable one became once they were no longer conscious of the world around them. They would need to trust each other fully if this was going to work out, and it seemed they were on the right track. He found that knowledge made him feel a little bit better about the whole thing, and after chopping wood all day he was sore, so sleep came easily to him for once.

A few hours later he was pulled back into consciousness by a sound he didn't recognize at first. It was quiet, but after a few moments his brain caught up and he realized it was the sound of crying. It was coming from Matsumoto. Rolling over onto his back he sat up and turned to face her.

"Matsumoto...are you alright?" He asked quietly, he didn't want to startle her.

"Oh, Kuchiki...I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you. It's just...this is the first time I've really had to stop and think...to process everything that's happened in the last few days..." Attempting to dry the tears and calm herself, but failing miserably.

"It just...finally all caught up to me. Everything is gone...everyone...my friends...Toshiro, the only family I had...I don't know whether he's dead or alive...And Gin..." Breaking down and crying with her head in her hands. He remained silent, knowing she would continue when she could. And honestly he wasn't even sure what to say anyways. He'd never really comforted anyone and didn't really know how.

"Oh God...I hope he's dead...I don't even want to imagine what that monster would do to him if he isn't..." Stopping to sniffle and take a deep breath.

"I'm sorry...I didn't want to do this in front of you...I just feel so...so...lonely. I have no one left...they're all gone...and I'm alone."

"You're not." He spoke before thinking about it, her gaze turning to meet his.

"You are not alone. I am here...I'm with you. And while we may not be friends or family, _we_ are all we have left right now...so let us become friends. We need to be here for each other, because we are not alone. And that is fortunate." He wasn't even sure where the words had come from, but he felt like they were the right thing to say.

"You're right...I didn't think about that...thank you." A shiver running through her, her hands running up and down her arms for warmth. In her eyes was a pain that he understood all too well, one that he still felt and had to deal with sometimes. He hoped she would be able to cope better than he had.

After a few more minutes of tears, she finally caught her breath and began to calm down, but she was still shaking. Her shivering had grown worse, and he watched as she wrapped herself in her blanket, trying to get it under control.

"I should have bought extra blankets...I forgot how cold it can get at night out here when you don't have heat." She muttered, pulling her knees up to her chest.

He was fine himself, but she looked miserable. Maybe, just for the night, he should let her share his futon. It would be warmer with the two of them under the same covers, body heat doing most of the work. And it would be easier than getting up to start a fire, which would need to be tended. But it would be completely inappropriate of him to allow such a thing, let alone offer. So he was torn as he watched her struggle to find a comfortable position in which she could get the heat she was seeking.

Then he realized, why was it inappropriate? He was no longer a noble, he was no longer a captain, and she was no longer a lieutenant. What decorum or behavior was there to worry about? They were just two people trying to find a way to build a new life, while figuring out how to save some vestiges of their old one. So why did it matter? If he wanted to let her share his bed, for warmth or otherwise, he had no real reason not to.

"I can see that you are cold...would you like to share a futon for the night?"

"What?" She was caught off guard.

"For warmth...if you are that cold...you are welcome to join me over here for the night. And we can get you a second blanket tomorrow." Looking away from her to avoid blushing.

"Oh. Actually...that sounds nice." Crawling over, dragging her pillow along.

He moved to the side to make room for her, waiting for her to be settled in before making himself comfortable next to her. They weren't even touching, but within a few short minutes, he felt much warmer than he had before. With the added heat, and the sensation of another body close to his he felt more relaxed somehow, his staring match with the ceiling not lasting for long as he lost swiftly, and blackness took over.


	3. Nightmares and turning tables

**A/N: Chapter three is here! Please bear with me on this story, I am planning this as I go, so right now I'm trying to take my time to really paint the picture of them settling into life together before I get to more in depth plotting.**

 **I have received such wonderful feedback on this story so far, and I hope I can make all of you happy with it ^_^** **As usual I hope you enjoy.**

* * *

 _She was standing in the middle of what had once been Karakura town. Most of the buildings were leveled, nothing left but piles of crumbled brick and concrete, sprinkled with glass from what used to be windows and doors. Twisted, jagged, and deadly looking pieces of metal poked out of them in all directions. There were large blackened craters in the ground that surrounded her, from various kido spells and the enemies attacks, the acrid smell of smoke in the air. The wind blew hair into her face, making it hard to see in front of her, but she could still see_ _ **him**_ _. That shining silver hair, that too wide grin, and eyes that were the color of the sky behind his mostly closed lids._

 _He was calling to her, his hands gesturing for her to come closer, his lips forming her name. It was like being deaf, there was so much happening, but she could hear absolutely nothing. When she moved her mouth to speak, nothing came out, so she put one foot in front of the other and started to make her way to him. It was as if she was moving in slow motion, her every action felt sloth-like and difficult, like trying to escape quicksand, or a tar pit. No matter how much she ran, he didn't seem to be getting any closer, yet he still smiled and beckoned her to his side._

 _The sky above grew dark with heavy clouds, the wind picking up and biting into her skin as the temperature dropped. Lightning started to flash, striking close by, a rush of heat and electricity prickling along her whole body. But she didn't stop, continuing to run, she had to get to him, a sense of panic building within her, so intense she felt like she couldn't breathe._

 _She was getting closer when she saw it, Aizen had appeared behind him, his sword posed to strike. She screamed, trying to warn him, but no matter how hard she tried no sound would escape her. And she could do nothing but watch in horror as Aizens Kyoka Suigetsu pierced through Gin from behind, the tip of the blade protruding out the front. Her chest tightened and her lungs seized as hot tears began to fall from her eyes. She had to help him._

 _Suddenly, there was_ _ **too much**_ _sound, assaulting her eardrums all at once. Thunder rumbled, lightning cracked, and explosions rocked the earth around her, the sound of falling debris mixing with the sound of Gins pained screams as he was slowly torn apart. Her own screams rang in her ears as she shouted, begging Aizen to stop, begging him not to kill him. He had pinned Gin to the ground using the blade embedded through his chest, twisting it roughly a few times before ripping it back out and stabbing forward elsewhere._

 _His hands reached for her as he screamed, blue eyes opened wide, pleading with her to help him, to make it stop. There was blood, so much blood, the smell of copper in her nose, the taste on her tongue as she was finally just feet from him. Her feet would carry her no further though, as if there was a barrier between them and she crumpled to her knees, just out of reach of his fingertips, no matter how far she stretched herself. The cacophony around her grew louder, drowning out his words as well as her own desperate pleas for him to stay with her._

 _The light in his eyes soon faded, his outstretched arm going slack, falling to the ground as his breath came to a halt and his body went limp. It was over and she'd been able to do nothing but watch. Once again her ears were deafened to sound, pain in her chest making her clutch at herself, only to find a gaping hole where her heart should be, her own blood painting the ground beneath her._

She woke with a start, sitting up quickly, a hand on her chest, and a scream dying on her lips. Taking deep, heaving breaths, she looked down to make sure there wasn't really a hole through her, relief flooding her when she realized she was fine. Her heart felt like it was going to beat right out of her chest and she stared straight ahead at the wall, waiting to get her breath back and trying to stay calm. With any luck, she hadn't woken Byakuya.

"Matsumoto?" Too late, his voice much closer than she anticipated.

"It's alright...you are ok. It was just a dream." He'd climbed out of his own bed and moved to her side.

Her head turned in his direction, her eyes full of both fear and relief. Whatever she had been dreaming about had terrified her, he could see it in the way her body shook and they way she clutched at her chest. Her breaths were heavy and erratic, as though she might hyperventilate.

"Breathe...it's ok. Look at me...in...and out." Giving her an example to follow.

After a few failed attempts, she finally got the hang of it and managed to take deep calming breaths. The look in her eyes was one he didn't recognize, and without warning she threw herself into him, face in his chest and her arms around his middle.

"It was so awful...he was killing him...I couldn't stop it...he was right there...and I couldn't help him." Sobbing as she squeezed him tight.

He was caught off guard, but quickly recovered, wrapping his arms around her in return. She didn't say who 'he' was, but she didn't really need to, it was obvious that it had been about Ichimaru. She only ever woke up screaming when he was the star of her dreams, or nightmares rather. And this was something like the tenth time in three weeks he'd been startled out of sleep to the sound. He was sadly growing used to it, but at least he knew how to deal with it now.

He remembered the first time it happened, shooting up out of bed, ready to fight an intruder only to realize she was still asleep and that they were safe. Her screams had scared the crap out of him, his heart racing and body full of adrenaline. It had taken him awhile to come down from the rush, his hands shaking all the while. He'd just stared at her awkwardly after she woke, no words coming to him and no idea if there was anything he could do to help. After the third time he'd finally just asked her right out what she needed. Since then, he'd become more adept at handling the situation, slowly learning how to comfort her.

"You're alright...you are safe. I'm here...right here." Holding her close and stroking her hair.

It must have been a particularly vivid nightmare, he wasn't sure she'd ever seemed quite so upset before. Her sobs racked her body as her tears started to soak through his sleeping yukata to his skin. All of his usual methods to calm her were failing, her tears continuing to fall and her fingers clinging tightly to the front of his yukata. This called for drastic measures.

"Come...I will hold you." Letting go of her and getting back into his own bed, patting the empty space next to him.

She didn't respond verbally, shaking her head and making haste to join him. She hadn't slept in his bed since that first night, as they'd purchased the extra blankets they needed the following day, but this was for comfort, not warmth. Wasting no time, she snuggled up close to him, her head in the crook of his neck, his arms around her tightly, and their legs tangling together until they found a position that was comfortable for both of them.

It was a strange sensation, having a woman pressed against him, for the first time in decades, he'd almost forgotten what it felt like. It caused him to feel several things at once. Longing, because it reminded him of what it was like to hold Hisana in the night, and guilt because he felt like he was betraying her memory, allowing another woman to sleep in her place, no matter the reason. Then there was empathy for the pain that she was experiencing, he'd been there, and he also knew that the subconscious could be ones worst enemy. And of course, there was that nagging feeling of impropriety, that he was doing something wrong. But he shook that one off, it was no longer something he had room for.

He had the chance to live his life the way he wanted now, the way he chose, with no rules or expectations, no reputation to uphold or ruin. It was also apparent to him, even after only a few weeks, that the lavish and luxurious lifestyle he'd previously enjoyed, left him at a disadvantage when faced with an uncertain future, one where his wealth and influence were no longer at his disposal. It was a steep learning curve, trying to fit in among commoners, but at least he wasn't forced to do it alone. So even though the circumstances that had brought them together were tragic and terrible, he was still grateful to have her around.

He was pulled from his reverie at the feel of her body relaxing against his, her breathing indicating that she had finally calmed and fallen asleep again. With any luck she would stay that way for the rest of the night, being this close to her, he might lose an eardrum if she had another nightmare. Wide awake himself, he ended up watching her sleep for awhile. It hadn't been his intention, but once his gaze had landed on her peaceful expression he'd found himself unable to look away, until his own eyes began to feel heavy again. Thankfully, they'd both been able to rest without interruption for the remainder of the night.

* * *

"No no no...your posture is all wrong." Grabbing him by the shoulders.

"Relax your muscles, stop standing so straight, let your shoulders slouch forward a bit." Her hands around his biceps, shaking them to try and loosen him up."

"Matsumoto, that is easier said than done. My body has been trained to stand this way over many years. I cannot simply stop doing it." Letting a little frustration color his tone.

"I know...I'm sorry. It's just...you stick out like a sore thumb when we leave the house. I'm just worried that someone will realize that you're...well, you." She said with a heavy sigh.

"You're walk alone is bad enough, but then you open your mouth...it's like you exude nobility and high society from your very pores." Moving behind him and turning him to face the full length mirror in the room.

"I understand your worries, I assure you I am not taking this lightly. I do not wish to be recognizable, but I can't just forget everything I have been taught." Trying his best to slouch. It was just so against his nature, his muscles not wanting to let go.

"Maybe I should try hitting you over the head with a frying pan..." She muttered.

"Would it make you feel better if I agreed to stay inside until I can get my walk and speech to your liking? Do you wish to have to do everything yourself while I spend my time practicing? Because I can do that." Anger rising within him.

"Don't be such a drama queen. It's only been like, two months, I'm not expecting you to wake up tomorrow acting and sounding like you grew up out here. You can still leave the house. But it couldn't hurt for you to try and spend more time on this. It's really important." Holding his gaze in the mirror, the look in her eyes was almost challenging.

He was the drama queen? She was the one talking about hitting him over the head. Even before these last few months, he was always amazed at her boldness. Always looking him in the eye when she spoke, challenging him when their views were different, on the rare occasion they spoke of course, which hadn't been often by any standards. But now they lived together, there were no formalities, or rules to the way they interacted with one another, and she was truly infuriating.

"In case you haven't noticed, I have been spending time on it...when I can get you to sit down and focus for more than five minutes at a time. It's hard to learn something when I have no point of reference." Teeth clenching and fists balling, staring her down, daring her to start something.

"Oh, so now it's my fault? Since when did I become your mother?!" Her voice rising as she continued their staring match.

"Excuse me?" He was genuinely thrown for a loop with that.

"You're a grown man, but you act like you can't do anything on your own, without me around...I already do everything around here. I shop, I cook, I clean...I handle the money, I buy your clothes, I keep your hair in order...and what are you doing all day? Sitting here complaining about me being distracted and accusing me of being lazy, because I don't have the damn time to give you the attention you're demanding?! Really?!" She'd really let loose, and she was really mad.

She turned away from him, a hand covering her mouth. He must have hit a sore spot unknowingly, and now he wasn't sure what to say. When she put it that way, it did sound like he was being selfish, like a child throwing a tantrum. But she'd twisted his words, making it sound different than he'd meant it. She was good at that, too good actually.

Every time he thought he had the upper hand she turned the tables on him. He was simultaneously impressed, and terrified by her ability to put him off kilter. And always with such ease. Not this time though. He wasn't going to lose his temper, he wasn't going to lose his temper, he wasn't going to lose his temper. Taking a deep breath to calm himself he decided to be rational, stuffing down his hot headed tendencies, maybe it would throw **her** off for once.

"Yes. You do most of the work around here...I don't want to get in your way or create more work for you. I am not helpless, and I am more than willing to pitch in around here. But please remember that I have had servants for most everything my entire life. I need you to teach me things that might seem like common sense to you, but are not to me."

"Can ya understan' that?" Doing his best to sound like Renji before he'd lost some of his accent.

Laughter was her only response, stomach grabbing, almost crumpling to the floor kind of laughter. His plan to stay calm going up in flames, his anger pushing his limits again, just like that. She was laughing at him, and it reminded him of his childhood when Yoruichi would do the same. He knew it was always just to get a rise out of him, but he always fell for it, yelling, screaming, and chasing after her. But Matsumoto wasn't running, she was planted firmly in place, ready to take his wrath head on, should he choose to aim it at her.

"Oh...Oh my God...I'm sorry...your pronunciation was damn near perfect. It just sounded so funny coming out of you...especially cause you're mad." Wiping a tear from her eye and straightening back up.

"Honestly, I'm sorry. Come here." Pulling him by the arm and sitting him on the small couch they'd found a few days earlier.

Making herself comfortable on the arm, she positioned her body so that he was sitting between her legs. Her fingers dug into the tense muscles in his shoulders and neck, and his anger quickly faded away. Just how the hell did she do that? It wasn't fair! One minute she had him ready to explode in a fit of rage, ready to grab her and shake some sense into her, and the next he was disarmed, no longer wanting or having the energy to argue, like putty in her hands. Heavens help him, she played him like a fiddle and he couldn't seem to escape it.

"Maybe you're right...I need to spend more time working on it with you. And you helping out with things around the house would definitely free up more time. But when I'm not around, why don't you try going outside and just observing people? You can learn a lot from people watching." Finding a particularly large knot in his shoulder blade and applying pressure.

She felt bad, she shouldn't have yelled at him like she did. It was hard though, they were both under a lot of stress, and she didn't want to have all their hard work go up in smoke. It hadn't been that long, and he was right, he couldn't just forget all his training over night. It was going to take time, even though that wasn't really a luxury that they could afford, and she was going to have to be better at dealing with that. In the meantime, maybe relaxing and stretching his muscles would help him lose some of that stiffness that was so characteristic of a nobleman. He obviously was doing a much better job with learning to speak differently.

"Can I ask you something?"

"What is it?" His breath catching as she found a tender spot and used her knuckles on it.

"Are you...alright? I mean...I've cried like a hundred times about all the things that have happened. But I haven't seen or heard you express any emotion about it at all. I know you can't really be as cold as people say...so I just wanna know if you're ok." It had been bugging her for weeks.

She'd wondered if he might have had a breakdown over it in private when she wasn't around, but she didn't think that was really his style.

"Well, to be honest...I feel the same as you. I am pained by the loss of family and those I considered friends. I am worried for those that are still alive and under the thumb of a dictator, as well as those who escaped and are being hunted as we are. But I have not cried since a few months after my wife's passing. I decided that is wasn't worth the wasted time. So please do not misunderstand my lack of outward emotion as none at all. I do still experience these things on the inside." A sliver of hurt and sadness seeping into his voice.

"Alright. I'm glad to hear that you're dealing...in your own way. But...I'm a good listener if you ever want to talk about it...or anything really. I'm pretty well known for keeping the confidence of others...at least I was, back when there were others." Making herself feel sad at the last part.

"I will keep that in mind...thank you. But I assure you, that for now I am fine. Not having to do this alone certainly helps." His body relaxing, leaning back into her touch and eyes closing.

"Alright. Let's find time to sit down tomorrow and work on your walk, speech too ok? I promise I'll focus."

"Sounds good. Maybe you could teach me some simple cooking as well?"

"I think I might be able to do that." Smiling down at him.

This was going to work out, she just knew it. After all, it had to.


	4. Planning and Carnage

A/N: Just wanted to start out by saying a big thank you to everyone who reads my work. I truly appreciate that you take time out of your day for something I wrote, and for a rare pairing at that. Your support means the world to me! So without further ado...ENJOY!

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"I think getting into the Seireitei and gathering information is definitely where we should start. But if we want to have any hope of defeating Aizen, when the time comes, we need to train...harder than ever." He said as they sat down at the dinner table. Another month had gone by in relative silence, no one breaking down their door or chasing after them, so they decided it was time to start discussing their next moves. They still had every intention of freeing the others from the hell they must be experiencing.

"I agree. But how are we going to do that without getting caught? Two captain class shinigami going at it is sure to draw a lot of attention." She mused, placing his plate in front of him. It smelled delicious, and his mouth watered with anticipation. Matsumoto was an excellent cook, which had initially surprised him- as she didn't seem like the domestic type- and he found himself looking forward to their meals together each night

"Of course, but I've been thinking about that...there's a limit to how far one's spiritual pressure can be felt. Maybe if we just travel far enough away from the Seireitei, we could train without drawing attention to ourselves." Digging into the beef and vegetable stir fry in front of him.

It was spicy, just the way he liked it. Ever since she'd learned of his love of spicy food, she'd been sure to add some heat to his portions once in awhile. It was thoughtful and unexpected, just as she herself seemed to be. He would admit that she surprised him at nearly every turn and instead of growing tired of her company, he was more and more intrigued.

"Okay…but how far is far enough? If we're wrong, it could mean the end of our freedom."

"Well, I would assume that if we haven't felt Aizens pressure from here…then we're far enough away already. Of course we can't train out here amongst the plus souls, we could end up killing them. So I was thinking that we need to pack up and take a few days trip out into the forests. The further away we are from the 80th district the better. This is delicious by the way." Throwing in the compliment just then, so as not to forget.

"Oh, thank you." She still blushed whenever he complimented her and he was beginning to find it endearing. For a woman as confident as she was, it was strange to see her be so shy and modest. He would think by now simple flattery wouldn't affect her, as he was sure she received compliments all the time. At least, she used to he supposed.

"It's worth a shot...I know we need to do it, but I'll be honest...it scares me. I don't want us to be found out."

"That is understandable, but we can't just remain sedentary, or we'll have no chance of defeating Aizen when the time comes."

"Yeah, I know. I'm behind the idea one hundred percent, but I agree that we need to do a little recon and see if we can learn anything about what's going on inside those walls first. We need to know if our friends and colleagues are even still alive to be saved." A dark sadness clouding her eyes for a second before she blinked it away.

"I agree with that. But I thought it was best to bring up the idea of training so that we can keep it in mind." He stated before all but inhaling the last of his dinner. He'd always been a proper gentleman at the table, but her cooking threatened to make him start licking his plate. Of course, if he did do such a thing, he was sure she would laugh and take it as the compliment it would be meant as.

"Would you like seconds? There's more in the kitchen." She said with a giggle as he finished. Setting down her fork and preparing to get up.

"Yes, I believe I would. Don't get up, I can get it. You worry about eating." Motioning for her to stay in her seat.

"What do you think about us possibly moving? I know it's been quiet, but I still feel like we shouldn't get too comfortable in one place." She called to him as he re filled his plate.

"I think it's definitely worth considering. Did you have any idea where or when?" Re joining her at the table.

"Well, if we're planning to get inside the Seireitei, it might be good to move closer...but not too close of course. On the other hand, if we want to train so far out, maybe we should relocate in that direction." She said, more to herself than him. Even so, he listened to her rationale concerning both options and an idea came to him.

"What if we don't move?" He said suddenly.

"What?"

"Well...what if, instead of moving...we pay up a few months of rent on this place, and then go find and set up camp at our new training spot. We can stay there for awhile, and come back here at the end of summer."

"Well, that would give us about 4 or 5 months to be away training...and in the meantime this place would be here if we needed it." She said, her brow scrunching up as she gave it serious thought.

"And If we still feel the need to move when we get back we can." Grabbing the empty plates and clearing the table.

"Sounds to me like we have a plan. We're gonna need supplies, and I'm going to have to double our food budget, _at least._ Training is going to require a lot more energy." Getting up and finding paper and a writing utensil.

"Matsumoto...there's plenty of time for all that. We have other things to worry about first." He assured her.

"Yeah, I know. I'm making a list of things we'll need to pick up once we're in Seireitei, we can't get some of what we need out here. Getting a hold of some of it will be hard, even risky, but I think it's necessary." Never lifting her eyes from the paper as she scribbled away.

"Thank you." He said quietly, watching her work.

"Huh? For what? Dinner? You don't have to thank me for that."

"No...I don't really know how to say it...just know that I appreciate everything you do. I know that living together has been tough at times. Especially considering that we were basically strangers at the start of all this. But you've been...so great. I don't think I would have made it this far without you, and I just thought you should know that."

"Wow...umm, I don't know what to say...thank you? You're welcome?" Blue eyes staring up at him with something he couldn't quite define, and a light blush on her cheeks once again.

She looked adorable, a word he didn't use often (except maybe when referring to Rukia), and he felt the unfamiliar sensation of a smile forming on his mouth.

* * *

"Oi, I could use a drink after that!" An unfamiliar voice rang out through the bar.

"Same. Why is he always so long winded? Like, just get to the point already." Now that voice was one she knew for sure.

Glancing in his direction, without staring or drawing attention to herself, she saw that signature red hair and the familiar tattoos, it was definitely Renji. He hadn't changed much, his hair was a little longer and there were new scars on his arms and face, but overall he looked healthy...he looked like Renji. Her heart ached at the thought of talking to him, and while they had mentally prepared themselves for seeing their friends from afar, Byakuya seemed to be wrestling with himself as well, struggling not to go over there.

To be honest, she wanted to go over there almost as much as he did. Renji was one of her good friends and she was very relieved to see him alive and well. At least it appeared that way on the outside. But approaching him while he was surrounded by arrancars and unfamiliar shinigami would be a sure way to end all hard work she and Byakuya had put in to get this far. So they listened from their dark corner at the end of the bar, hiding in the shadows and pretending they were no one. No matter how much it hurt.

After about a month of trial and error, they'd finally found a good way into the Seireitei that wouldn't seem too suspicious. Dressing as vendors they could move freely about through the gates, toting a small wheel barrow of fruits and vegetables they would purchase that morning out in the Rukongai. Within two weeks they had pinned down the timing of the guards and patrol shifts, making it even easier to get around without worry, and found a few places that shinigami and Aizens henchman both frequented.

To an outsider, it might seem like nothing had changed in Seireitei, besides the new residents, but they were both able to see how terrible it had become. There were still squads, and training sessions, but no one seemed motivated to actually put in the effort. No one seemed to carry a sense of pride in their position anymore, in fact they all seemed tired and worn down, like they'd given up.

It seemed that attendance and enrollment at the Soul Academy, which had been closed for a time after the war, was abysmal. No one wanted to become a soul reaper, knowing that they would be made to follow the orders of psychopath. A lot of the damage from the war had still not been repaired, debris and rubble still littered the streets in some places, and it was heart breaking to see the city they loved in such shambles. But that was the reality in which they were living, and she wouldn't look away. She would face this new world head on and be the survivor she always was. And with any luck, she'd be able to keep Byakuya alive too.

"Yeah, I found myself some big mansion up north of here. Used to belong to some noble family or something." An ugly, brutish man said around the turkey leg in his mouth. The display was enough to make her feel sick.

"The Kuchiki are one of the four great noble houses. You'd do well to remember that when the head of the family returns to see what you've done to his home." Renji growled out through gritted teeth. It looked as though he was using everything in himself to stay put and not say more.

"Eh, whatever." The man dismissed him.

"Anyways, I thought the place was empty, but I found the family and a bunch of servants in a secret room a few days later."

"No shit, so you've got servants now? Did you kick the family out on their asses?"

"Nah, I killed most of em...bunch a cowards they were. I made the old bag of bones who tried to stop me, and the old hag watch until it was their turn. I did keep some of the servants alive though, they're pretty handy to have around...and the pretty ones...well, I kept them for myself." He said with a lecherous grin.

Byakuya's breathing became labored and she watched as his hands balled into fists on the bar. Reaching out she placed a hand on his forearm and drew his attention to her. Hearing the man speak so casually about murdering his family had been hard for her to hear, so she could only imagine what was going through his head at that moment.

She could see the barely restrained rage in his eyes when he looked at her, and she could feel it in the way he shook beneath her touch. He was so intense that she removed her hand and almost stepped back from him, his gaze scaring her a little. Instead, she took a deep breath and moved in closer to him, wrapping an arm around his as a lover would, leaning in to whisper in his ear.

" _Don't_. I know this is hard to hear, and I know you want revenge, but this is not the time or the place. I promise we'll make him pay for what he's done...just not right now." She said calmly and firmly. He didn't respond verbally, but gave a nod of agreement. That was enough for her.

"You bastard!" Renji yelled, lunging at the man from across the table they were seated at.

A scuffle ensued and she watched as Renji and the other man exchanged blows. Tables were flipped, chairs were flying and glass was shattering everywhere. People closest to the exit started to pour out of the establishment just to get out of the line of fire. She wanted to yell out, to cheer Renji on, Hell she'd even gotten to her feet,but stayed silent instead. She was rooting for him on the inside though, of course she was. Renji was a street rat survivor just like she was, so she knew he could hold his own.

Even Byakuya had stood and joined her in watching the spectacle, a look of pride on his face watching his former lieutenant defend the honor of his family and himself. He too was cheering their friend on, on the inside, she could see it in his eyes. They were ready to celebrate the victory when the redhead took a hard hit to the side of the head. That was the moment that everything turned upside down.

They were both stunned at what they witnessed next. The blow had almost knocked Renji out and he was fighting to stay conscious, still swinging and trying to be on the offensive, when a foot connected with his chest, taking the air out of his lungs. He dropped to his knees as he gasped for air and the man grabbed him and kneed him in the face, a sickening crunch resounding through the room.

"You still haven't learned your lesson have you maggot?!" Holding Renji at the collar and keeping him from falling to the ground. There was blood gushing from his nose, running down his face and dripping from his chin. His nose had been completely shattered, along with one of his cheekbones if she had to guess, based on the way he was breathing and the rapid swelling.

Byakuya took two steps in their direction and she grabbed him from behind, wrapping her arms around his chest and hoping to stop him from blowing their cover. Every muscle in his body was tense and his heart was beating so hard that she could feel it under her fingers. She was sure that he could easily overpower her if he wanted, but he seemed content to let her hold him there. He knew what was at stake if he continued with what his instincts were screaming at him to do.

"I want to go over there as much as you do right now, but if we want to save him, we need our continued freedom. Please...please...I know it's hard...please." She begged of him, tears coming to her eyes as she peaked over his shoulder at the carnage that was taking place.

The entire bar had gone silent as the man rained down blow after blow on Renji, no one moved to help him, hell no one even breathed, looks of shock and horror on the faces of the other patrons. Those few seconds dragging out into an eternity for her, watching him be pummeled nearly to death. When he was done with his face, he threw their friend to the ground and began to kick him mercilessly.

"Stop it!" She found herself screaming out, unable to contain it. Somehow, she'd even moved across the floor a few steps, Byakuya now behind her.

His fingers grasped her arm and pulled her to him, crushing her against his chest to keep her from seeing anything else. She closed her eyes and cried quietly, the sound of bones breaking and blood splattering on the ground would haunt her for the rest of her life.

"Damn...guess I don't know how to hold back." The man laughed when it was finally over.

The arms around her tightened, almost painfully, but he seemed to realize what he was doing and loosened up again.

"You...help me get him to Lord Aizens bitch so he can be healed." An order if she'd ever heard one.

The two men picked what was left of Renji up off of the floor and carried him out, presumably to the 4th division. They knew that the 4th had been the one place that had stayed pretty much exactly as it had been before the war, so with any luck he would be ok. But she was sure that she would never forget what had just happened. They had just witnessed first hand the kind of life their family and friends were being subjected to, and all she wanted to do was curl up into a ball and cry.

"I think it's time to go home for today." He said quietly once they were out of sight.

She agreed as she pulled away from him, turning to leave without looking at him. She was afraid, of what she might see in his eyes, of realizing she felt the same, afraid of letting her emotions get the best of her and running after that mongoloid of a man. He caught up in a few strides and they walked home in a heavy silence, both of them still trying to process everything.

Byakuya wasn't an outwardly emotional man, dealing with things quietly and internally, and always on his own. So it caught her off guard when he wrapped his arms around her and leaned his head on her shoulder as soon as they were through the door. He didn't cry, he didn't say anything, he didn't ask for anything, but he didn't need to. She held him close and ran her fingers through his hair, soothing him without words, they were unnecessary anyway.


	5. Moving forward

**A/N: So I had so much leftover inspiration after that last chapter, that I had to get another one out right away. As usual, I hope you enjoy. And of course, leave me a review and let me know what you think!**

* * *

Standing by and doing nothing had been the hardest thing he'd ever had to do. Matsumoto was right, the only way to help him was to free him, but that was going to take so much more time and he was afraid it might end up being too late. Either way, he now had plenty of anger to fuel him when they finally made it out to train, which should now be sooner than later. After what they had just witnessed, it was evident that time was not on their side.

He'd watched every second of the incident unflinchingly. He wanted to remember every detail, so that when he finally got his chance at revenge he would be sure to pay that piece of shit back tenfold. And if Renji didn't survive? Well...an eye for an eye as they say. Matsumoto had gotten so upset that she almost blew their cover herself, even after begging him not too. Forcing her to look away had been the only thing he could think of to do, pressing her against himself so that she couldn't see anymore of the damage being done. She'd seen enough to have nightmares as it was. And to be honest, holding her had given him reason to stay rooted to the spot.

The walk home was silent, neither of them really feeling the need to voice anything out loud. The fresh air helped him feel less confined, but he couldn't seem to get the image of his former lieutenant, lying in a bloody mess on the floor, out of his head. Nor could he stop thinking about how his elders and the rest of the family had been slain so cruelly. By the time they reached their domicile, he was confused and tormented, his previously absent and controlled emotions running wild.

He was angry and guilty over the deaths of his family for starters. The house had been empty and he'd assumed that they had evacuated. He was such and idiot! How could he have forgotten the safe room that was hidden at the center of the compound? Why hadn't he checked for them? They might still be alive if he had. Just like Renji might not be on his way to the 4th division if he'd just stepped in and stopped that mad man. The urge to give in and cry like a baby was stronger than he'd felt in decades, and he might have, if he were alone.

But he wasn't alone. In fact, if Matsumoto hadn't been there, he would probably be being hauled in to the 1st division by now, and who knew what would happen then. So many emotions were vying for control of him, anger, hatred, guilt, sadness and something he couldn't quite identify (it had been far too long since he'd felt it). Comfort was not something he normally sought out, mostly because on the rare occasion that he might , there was no one to comfort him anyway. But the maelstrom inside caused him to act on instinct, and before he knew it, he'd pulled her close and rested his head on her shoulder, pressing his face into the crook of her neck.

Even though he'd caught her off guard, she didn't miss a beat, wrapping her arms around him and running her fingers through his hair. She didn't try to tell him that it would all be okay, she didn't ask him what had brought on his sudden need for comfort, she didn't say anything at all. He was relieved that she seemed to know exactly what he needed in that moment. He wasn't one for showing his feelings, let alone talking about them and she let him deal in his own way.

"Come on...I don't wanna sleep alone tonight..." She said quietly after a few minutes, pulling away and taking him by the hand.

He followed quietly, letting her lead him to her room. Watching her walk ahead of him, he was flooded with a sense of gratitude. She'd done far more for him than he could every repay her for, and yet she continued to do more, and without him even asking. He was glad that the fates had placed them together on this journey, he truly didn't know where he'd be without her. And now that he knew the fate of his family, other than Rukia still being alive, wherever she was, Matsumoto was all he had left in the world. Somehow that made him feel a little better.

Once they were both dressed for bed, he crawled in next to her, moving to hold her in his arms, but she stopped him. After waiting for her to adjust the pillows, he found himself wrapped in her embrace, his head resting against her chest and her chin resting on his head. His mother, and his wife had been the only women to ever hold him in this way, and he felt a sense of peace come over him as it reminded him of them. And while he didn't love her the way he had them, she smelled good, and her skin was soft, and the hand on his back and fingers in his hair made him feel comforted all the same.

He was just about to fall into slumber when she shook slightly, the sound of sniffling reaching his ears.

"I'm sorry." She whispered suddenly.

"For what?" Lifting his head to look at her.

"That we couldn't help Renji...and...I'm sorry about your family..." Fresh tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Thank you. But you don't need to cry for them...they lived very long, healthy and happy lives."

"Well...since you don't cry...one of us has too..." She said with a small smile.

Using his thumb he wiped her tears, leaning up to kiss her forehead. He wasn't normally affectionate in any manner, but she had also been through a lot, and she deserved to be comforted as well. And the fact that she was crying over the deaths of people she didn't even know just proved to him how big her heart was. Even after everything she'd been through, she still found the strength to be kind and care for others. Thanking her once more, he buried his head against her again and squeezed her tight to him as they finally both drifted off.

* * *

The trip out into the forests had been long and grueling, the weather had been unseasonably hot and several thunderstorms had rolled over head causing them to have to take cover. Over all, what was supposed to be 3 days of travel had turned into 5 and then they still had to find a suitable place for camp, as well as training. But being able to let her spiritual pressure flow freely for the first time in more than half a year had been damn near orgasmic, so it was well worth the trouble.

After a lot of searching, they came upon a spot where the forest ended, opening up into a large open field that extended somewhere around a mile in front of them. The forest picked right back up all along the edges of the space, so they were in the center where they could be hidden while training. It was the perfect place for it and it made her feel excited at the prospect of getting stronger. And with Byakuya to train against, she was sure to be pushed to her limit, and learn some new things along the way.

The first few days after camp was set up had consisted mostly of entering Jinzen and practicing their foot and sword work. They couldn't just jump into sparring after not keeping up with the basics for so long, they might end up hurting one another. It was especially important to communicate with their Zanpaktou before trying to use them, they hadn't really been able to stay in regular contact since the war ended, and they needed to rebuild their trust and understanding. Equally as important was getting themselves back into shape with exercise and strength training.

Normally, the thought of waking up early to exercise and get all sweaty would make her turn tail and run, hiding under her pillows in bed. But with so much on the line, she was motivated and determined. In fact, she felt like she was ready to start trying to attain Bankai. Of course she knew that she would need more time than she had to master it, but if she could at least achieve it she'd feel better when they were ready to attack Aizens merry little band of thieves. And lucky for her, Byakuya was a morning person, with plenty of Bankai experience.

"Bankai?! Ehh...that sounds like a lot of work..." Haineko whined.

Her Zanpaktou was excited that they could communicate regularly again. So much so that she couldn't seem to get the cat woman to shut up long enough to talk to her about training. It had taken her several visits to bring it up, and they had been arguing about it for almost thirty minutes. Normally, she would be on the same side as Haineko, agreeing that it was too much work when they were comfortable where they were. But that had to change eventually, and there was no better time than now.

"Haineko! Straighten up and look at me!" She suddenly said sternly, watching as the cat stopped throwing a tantrum on the ground. Her shock was evident as she stood at attention, nearly saluting her in the process.

"You're right. It will be a lot of work. A lot of hard work. But there's no more time to play around! We have to get stronger or spend the rest of our lives running and hiding. I for one will not just sit by and watch as the world around me burns, I am going to do something about it. But I can't do that without your help...do you understand? I need us to be stronger than we were before, I need us to be as strong as we can...or it will be then end of us." Trying to be as open and honest as she could.

"Well...maybe you are finally ready. You've always been a fighter, but getting you to focus and commit to hard work like bankai training has been pretty much impossible. You've always been too distracted with this, that or the other. But I finally see that fire in your eyes that I've been waiting on." Haineko replied in earnest, grabbing her by the chin and looking into her eyes.

"That you've been waiting on? If you've been waiting to train for bankai, why have you always been so difficult?" She asked, disbelief coloring her tone.

"It's been so long, you don't remember how I was when you first called my name do you? You were motivated back then, and I pushed you, maybe harder than I should have, but I believed in you. And when you became a lieutenant you seemed to lose interest in continuing to push. You had reached your original goal, and instead of pushing you to find a new one, I grew comfortable as well. I figured you'd get tired of the same old same old one day. I never dreamed it would take this much to find your motivation again though. But I'm glad you did. "

"I don't understand, I've asked you about this training many times before...so why now?"

"Because back then you weren't ready. You're heart was a mess, with all of the things Gin put you through, you were never really at peace with yourself. You were always worried about him and what he thought, you let him turn you into a different person...I'm just glad the the Rangiku I knew back then is standing before me again. You're finally ready to wield my full power."

"You're right...I did let Gin twist who I was. I was desperately trying to hold onto the promises we'd made as kids instead of letting go and moving on. And the further he pushed me away, the more I damaged myself...with alcohol and one night stands, among other things, hoping against hope that the boy I'd known was still in there somewhere, that he would return to me. But now, I know better. And I'm sorry it took me so long to wake up."

"Don't worry about it. But you are going to have to tell me more about this Byakuya...he sounds dreamy." She swooned, letting go of her sudden seriousness.

"Well, he is quite attractive...but even if I wanted to, nothing would ever come of that. He's out of my league for sure. Besides, what do I know about healthy relationships anyway?" She chuckled.

"True...but it's never too late to learn." Haineko said with a wink.

* * *

Two months of training and he was feeling better and stronger than he had in a long time. Being able to release his spiritual pressure and feel his many blades swirling around at his command again was like pure ecstasy in his veins. It had taken several weeks, and several extra meals a day, but he was finally getting back some of his stamina and endurance.

It helped that he and Matsumoto rose early each morning to go for a run through the forest. Then an hour of exercises, like push ups, sit ups and other strength training. Her shunpo wasn't as fast as his, but when they ran her long legs kept up with him easily, occasionally pulling ahead, teasing him and calling him a slowpoke. And, as was becoming the usual, she didn't fail to surprise him. She was far stronger than he gave her credit for, and since she'd gotten serious about achieving bankai her spiritual pressure had been increasing steadily.

She was light and quick on her feet, able to asses the situation at hand quickly. She had the nerve to wait until the very last second to dodge his attacks, staring him down all the while. The first time had scared the crap out of him, thinking he was going to hit her. There wasn't enough time for him to pull back without hurting her. But he blinked and she was coming at him from the side. She was clever, and she used her shikai in ways similar to his, but also completely different. He was flattered that she'd approached him for help with her bankai, considering most people chose to go about it alone, and he was happy to help in any way he could.

To be honest, he had been a little shocked to see her shikai for the first time, as it bore a striking resemblance to his own. While not as elegant or pleasing to the eye as his blades that looked like flower petals, her ash was every bit as deadly. She'd proven it several times, almost besting him in sparring matches. In fact, she could have won at least once, when he'd tripped up. But she had honor, she didn't use his misstep against him for the win, she wanted to take the match fair and square. She was determined to prove she could be every bit as good as he was. And he couldn't wait to see what her bankais form would be when it finally came to fruition. He was sure that it would be incredible, if it was anything like Senbonzakura.

Speaking of Matsumoto, she'd wandered off to do a little solo training while he prepared lunch (yes, the great Byakuya Kuchiki had learned to cook...at least a little.), and he needed to find her. He assumed she was out in the field, so he packed everything up and carried it out to her. An impromptu picnic seemed like something they could both enjoy.

When he arrived at the edge of the forest, her back was to him and she was practicing hitting the homemade targets they had put together from wood in the forest. But only once he had the food set out and was ready to call her over, did he notice that the targets were moved in closer than normal and it didn't appear to be any sort of kido spell that she was shooting at them. It took him a few minutes of standing there staring to make sense of what he was seeing. She'd released Haineko, but instead of guiding the ash in large clouds, she was concentrating it around her arms and hands, and then releasing it in bursts. She'd effectively turned her shikai into a ranged projectile...and he was speechless.

"Where did you learn that?" He questioned softly, once he found his voice again.

"Oh, hi! Where did I learn it? I haven't really learned anything yet, I was just trying out an idea I had when talking to Haineko the other day. I still can't get the power or distance I want, but I think my aim is alright. It's a little unpredictable though." She said as she called Haineko back to sword form, and smiling brightly when she noticed the picnic on the ground behind him.

"Well...after lunch, I'd like to see if the same could be applied to my Senbonzakura. With practice and fine tuning, I think you are onto something." Motioning for her to join him on the blanket he'd stretched out for them.

"Yeah, I'm just seeing what I can do alone to start with, but I think combining it with a kido spell might give it the boost it needs. Though you might want to rethink trying it with Senbonzakura...you could really get hurt with blades swirling that close to your skin." Digging into the food without delay.

"I will keep that in mind, but I believe it is best to at least test the idea before giving up on it. As for combining it with kido, I agree that the idea has merit, a great deal actually, but it may make it even more unpredictable. We'll have to take it one step at a time I suppose." He said, watching her devour her meal without pause.

"Oh man, that was really good this time! You're getting better in the kitchen... a lot better." She exclaimed as she finished her soup with a large gulp. Normally, the sight of a woman eating in such a manner would make him turn up his nose, but Matsumoto was a warrior, and her growing appetite was a sign of her strength and power as a Shinigami. She was becoming more powerful with each day that passed, and he was sure that soon she would best him in a sparring match. And he wasn't even upset about it. In fact, he was looking forward to it, taking a sense of pride in helping her grow.

Of course, that would mean he was going to have to work even harder, but he didn't mind. He needed that inevitable kick in the ass if he was going to get strong enough to take on Aizen.


	6. Relaxation, inner thoughts and accidents

**A/N: I feel like it's been awhile again, but um here with an update. I have no excuse except life for taking so long tbh. I'm gonna start on the next chapter tonight, but I'm going out of town next weekend so it might be a couple weeks before it's posted.**

 **As usual, I hope you enjoy! Leave me your thoughts please!**

* * *

The dog days of summer were upon them already. They'd been so busy, so focused on their goals of getting stronger, that it had flown by without their notice. Well, almost. There were still a couple of weeks before it would officially be fall. But that meant that soon they would need to pack up and head back to their rented home in the Rukongai, and to be honest, she wasn't really looking forward to it. While it would be nice to have a proper shower, she was really enjoying her training. Being out in nature, and not having any of the distractions of everyday life was working wonders for her.

She was feeling fantastic lately. Getting back into shape, not having a drop of alcohol in her system, and getting proper rest made her feel like a brand new person. She had energy to spare, her mind was clear and her heart, while still heavy, was free. The past was just that, and she had no more time to waste on what might have been, or even what was. There was only the here and now, and the future, those were the only things she had any control over at all, so that's what she chose to focus on.

Speaking of now, she'd convinced Byakuya to end their sparring session early and was now leading him through the woods. They were heading to a secluded hot spring she'd stumbled upon one afternoon, as she was scouting out the area closer to the base of the mountain range in the distance, and she was almost giddy at the thought of finally getting to test it out. They'd been bathing in a river near by and she was really getting tired of it, mostly because it was always so cold. The chance to soak in hot water was exactly what both of them needed. Especially their muscles with the Hell they'd been putting them through for the last few months.

The area around the spring was awash with life. Water Iris', dazzling pink azaleas and yellow chrysanthemums were blooming all around. It had taken her breath away when she'd first laid eyes on it, and she'd almost dove right in without a second thought. But she had thought twice, such a perfect place being left unused and untouched seemed impossible and she was on alert as she checked the surrounding area for signs that others came there regularly. Once she was satisfied that it did in fact seem to be abandoned though, she grew excited, rushing back to camp to tell Byakuya about it.

He'd chuckled at her enthusiasm, a sound she was still getting used to, as she came bursting through the door of their tent rambling at a hundred miles an hour. Once he knew what she was talking about though, she saw a spark of emotion in his eyes, the kind that told her he too was thinking about how wonderful it would feel. And once she assured him that no one else had been there for quite some time, he agreed that it would be a nice reward for all their hard work.

Now that they were there however, she realized she'd forgotten one important detail…they would both be naked. How had she not thought of that sooner? Maybe she should just let him have it first and then go in when he was finished. Otherwise, it might be awkward and one of them might end up seeing more than they bargained for. Not that she was ashamed of her body, she looked damn good and she knew it. But just the thought of him, in particular, seeing her naked made her feel like blushing.

"So…maybe we should do this individually. I guess it's not really appropriate for us to use it at the same time…hehe. I can keep watch while you bathe and vice versa?" She said, laughing nervously as an image of him, sans clothing, entered her mind.

"Nonsense, we are both adults and we are both capable of enjoying the hot spring together without it being weird. I will turn my back while you get in, and then you can do the same while I join you. There's no need to keep watch, there's no one around but us." He replied, seemingly nonplussed by the idea.

"Besides, even if it would normally be inappropriate, things are no longer normal, so why should we care?" He said as an afterthought.

"That's true…but I would have thought you'd still be worried about it. You know, something about the years of training to be a noble, or the fact that you're such a gentleman...or something like that anyway." Winking at him. He was right, they were both adults, this didn't have to be a big deal.

"I decided when all of this began, that I no longer need to worry about the rules that I've followed my whole life…they no longer apply. The life I knew is gone, replaced with the one I am living now." Stripping out of the top layer of his kosode, and then the under layer.

She'd seen him without it plenty of times, while they were training, when he chopped fire wood, even when they were at home relaxing, and she'd never so much as batted an eye. So why now was her mouth going dry at the sight? Why did she suddenly feel flush at the appearance of those rock hard abs and perfectly sculpted pecs? It had to be the heat of the day getting to her. It had been unbearably hot all morning and afternoon, but now it was starting to finally cool down with the setting sun.

Thankfully he turned his back to her before she could be caught staring at him like a piece of meat. It was strange, but she felt the need to turn away from him as well, undressing without looking in his direction. Placing her clothes on a rock outside of the water, she eased herself in, keeping her back turned so that he could undress. Giving him the ok, she could hear the rustle of his clothing as he removed the rest of it, and then the sound of water splashing as he entered the pool.

"You may turn back now." He said softly, letting out a long contented sigh.

"Oh man...this feels soooo good! I forgot how amazing a hot soak could feel!" She exclaimed with a smile, facing him and leaning back against the edge, staying on the other side of the spring from him. She was determined to keep things from being weird or uncomfortable.

"Indeed...it has been far too long since I've had the chance to relax like this." His eyes closing and head tilting back.

She took his cue and did the same. Why ruin this peaceful moment with useless chatter?

Every muscle in his body was crying with relief, and soon he started to feel like rubber as one by one they all let go and relaxed. It seemed as though it had been forever since he'd felt the warm embrace of a hot spring, and he was in heaven. The atmosphere was tranquil, only the sound of birds and animals in the forest, with the smell of flowers in the air around them, and he quickly found himself ready for an impromptu nap. In fact, he was just about to slip into sleep when Matsumoto moved, the small sound of splashing water enough to rouse him with a small jump.

Luckily, she hadn't noticed his startled state and he recovered himself quickly, looking over to see her stretching and rolling her neck muscles. Every so often she would grimace, as if in pain.

"Are you alright?" He asked quietly.

"I'll be fine. I've just got some muscles bound up on my left side, somewhere in the area between my neck and below my shoulder blade. I'm hoping that the hot water will help me loosen it up." Looking at him with her head tilted sideways.

"It seems to be causing you discomfort. Come. I will massage it for you."

"Really?!" Her eyes lit up at the offer.

"Of course. You have done the same for me. I am happy to return the favor anytime...you only need ask."

"Ok, thank you."

She was halfway to him when she seemed to slow, biting her lip nervously. He'd seen her do it a thousand times, so why now did the image strike him so? It was all at once endearing, innocent, and sexy as hell. Those feeling combined caused a sensation he couldn't quite understand to flash through him. It felt something like being shocked, but without pain, all of his nerves seemed to have come alive for the briefest instant. Suddenly, he was feeling nervous himself.

Doing his best to keep up his usual stoic facade, he moved to stand, freeing up space for her to sit. The pool was plenty deep enough for him to stand without exposing himself, and the natural rock seating was big enough for her to sit cross legged, facing the outside of the pool, it was almost too perfect. She leaned forward and put her arms on the edge, using them as a pillow for her head.

Taking a deep breath, he shook off the last lingerings of that strange sensation and focused on the task at hand. He was just going to have to ignore how soft and smooth her skin felt under his fingers, and the soft moans that escaped her whenever he hit a tender spot. And he was definitely wasn't going to acknowledge the fact that she was completely naked as well. It would only make it harder for him to pretend that he wasn't getting a little 'hot under the collar' as they say. He would blame his body's sudden temperature increase on the hot spring. Yes, that was it, the heat was responsible for his unexpected arousal, and his mind coming up with dirty images, he couldn't help it. When this was over it would pass.

He was mostly right. While he hadn't felt that way around her again since, there were dreams. The contents of some of them were enough to make even a Rukongai whore blush, and he would find himself waking in a sweat, seconds from soiling his sheets. Luckily, she was always asleep on those nights. Or at least she pretended to be. If she did somehow know he was having sex dreams, she was at least kind enough not to mention it. They too had eventually passed, but it took almost two weeks.

* * *

"So, we're getting close to having to pack up and head back. Have you given any thought to what we should do after this?" She asked, passing him a cup of tea.

The days were still quite warm, but the evenings were beginning to get cooler, and hot tea was the perfect beverage for around the fire. Nodding in the affirmative at her question, he took a moment to savor his first sip as he collected his thoughts. She was using her cup to warm her hands before drinking from it.

"Well, I know that we need to go back, no matter what we decide to do. If we are going to continue living there, we'll need to pay rent soon. And if not, we need to collect things we left there. But personally, I think we should stay out here as long as the weather will allow. We can't waste training time, it will be limited if not non existent once winter arrives. We should pay up another month or two and then decide if we want to stay there, or find another place to rent. What do you think?"

"To be honest, I've been thinking something similar. I like the idea of training for as long as we can, definitely. But I was thinking, go back and get our stuff and find a new place once we're done out here." She replied.

"The only problem with that would be that we'd have to waste time to find a new place to live, before we finished training. If we keep the one we have now, we can have somewhere to stay while we look for somewhere new."

"True...so then I guess we should go back 'home' and get settled up for a little while longer."

"Yes. We'll also need more firewood, and probably heavier blankets and robes for the colder nights."

"And more food, and more supplies in general." She said in agreement.

"How about, I go get rent, clothing and bedding supplies taken care of, and you can worry about the firewood, the food and the other random things we need? That way it can all get done in the same amount of time. You can get most of the things on your list much closer to here than home, and I can get all of what's on mine while I'm there."

"Hmm, a two birds one stone approach. I agree that it makes the most sense, but I worry about traveling alone. If one of us were to get into trouble, how would the other know?"

"Hmm...I guess we won't. We'll just have to be careful and trust each other. Unless you want to waste training time doing it all together? I'm fine either way."

"I do trust you to be careful...so I guess we do it your way."

Damn, she got him. He wasn't worried about himself, but the thought of her running into trouble alone scared him. She was smart, she was strong, and she was more than capable of blending into the crowd, yet he still had a nagging feeling. There was an urge, the need to protect her. They'd been side by side for most of everyday since the war, and letting her go so far away from him was going to be difficult.

Of course he would never tell her that. She might mistake his concern for thinking she wasn't able to take care of herself. Never mind the fact that it would be voicing his feelings aloud, it would be admitting that he cared for her, that he was afraid to lose her. That secret would remain so for the foreseeable future. Though he was sure she probably already knew, she was good at reading him, better than Rukia, and maybe even better than Hisana had been.

The coming week or so was going to be strange, with no one to talk to or train with. He'd just have to keep himself busy until she returned.

* * *

Being completely on her own for a few days was both strangely liberating, as well as bittersweet. It had been awhile since she'd had time to herself, time to think and sort through things. And Making her own decisions and doing as she saw fit reminded her of better days. But she'd been with Byakuya everyday for so long now, that she still found herself missing him.

Waking up to an empty tent in the morning, not seeing his sleepy face staring back at her, felt lonely somehow. Without noticing, she'd grown accustomed to his presence. Spending their days together had become comfortable, natural even. And he was such a different person from what she'd been expecting at the start of all this. Whether it was because he no longer felt the need to be the person he was before, or that it was always who he was underneath the facade she wasn't sure. But it didn't really matter.

She'd come to care about him, and being away from him worried her a little. He'd gotten much better at blending in, his accent getting close to sounding natural when he used it, his walk a little more loose and casual, and his style choices a little more plain. But he was still rough around the edges, and so far she'd always been there in case something went wrong, or someone thought they recognized him. Now though, she wouldn't be, so she hoped that he would be alright. She trusted him, but it didn't stop the nagging feeling she got of 'what if'?

Luckily, she only had two more days of travel to get back to camp, so she'd be able to assuage her fears once she got there. She knew it. All she had to do was get there.

She'd collected warmer clothing and blankets from their home, as well as picking up a few new things. Because of course she couldn't resist the opportunity to shop when one presented itself, and she'd found the perfect gift for him. Nothing too fancy or expensive, but she was sure he would appreciate it. Coming across it had been an accident, but once she saw the scarf, it screamed his name at her. The fabric was of course much, much cheaper, but the color was almost exactly the same as the one he had to burn. Even if he couldn't wear it right now (it would look too similar to his old one and might get him recognized), he would keep it, and with any luck it would remind him of his family and the good times they had together.

Speaking of memories, she'd also found a red hair ribbon. He'd told her stories of his childhood and the merciless teasing by one Yoruichi Shihoin, and she remembered something about the woman always taking his favorite red hair tie. She'd found it while looking for something new to hold her own hair back. It had grown back out quite a bit, and she wasn't ready to chop it off again yet. So tying it back was the best option when training, for both of them really.

Trying to picture what he'd look like with his hair tied up as an adult entertained her off and on as she continued onward, and before she knew it, she was almost back to camp. It was just past midday when it came into sight, and she quickened her steps. Finally reaching the tent, she went in to say hi and put stuff away, but was disappointed to find it empty.

A quick scan for his spiritual pressure told her that he was in the field, probably training with Senbonzakura. Oh well, she'd just have to go out there after she put things in their places, and while she was at it she might as well figure out what she was going to make for dinner when they got back later. She was definitely itching to get back out there and keep working on her new techniques.

She couldn't remember the last time that Haineko cooperated with her so well, the two of them finally on the same page, with the same goals in sight. They were more in sync than ever, and she was willing to do whatever was necessary to reach bankai. That golden ring was getting closer with each training session, and soon she would be grabbing it. Just the thought of it gave her a sense of pride, she was finally living up to her potential and it felt wonderful.

Heading down the path between camp and the field, she kept her eyes forward, waiting for his figure to come into view. Well, that and keeping an eye out for an errant kido spell or something. If he was training she needed to be careful on the approach. She was about halfway there when there was a loud explosion, the aftershock hitting her a second later. A few flower petals carried on the breeze drifted towards her, or so she thought. Until one of them cut her as it passed.

"Byakuya!" She screamed as realization hit her.

Running to close the distance, her heart was in her throat as she prepared herself for what she might see. He was laying on the ground, knocked out and covered in blood. His clothing, hands, arms, chest, and face were all singed and cut up. She was relieved to find that he was breathing, and upon closer inspection, it seemed his injuries were minor.

The idiot had blown himself up trying to combine Senbonzakura's shikai with kido, she was sure of it. She'd warned him that he could do exactly as it appeared he'd done. Great. Now she was going to have to carry him back to camp and get him cleaned and healed up.

Heaving his dead weight up off the ground, she all but dragged him back to camp, getting him settled on his cot and stripping him down to his underwear. There was no time to blush at the sight of him in such an under-dressed state though, she just needed to be able to see while she was digging out the few blades that had embedded themselves in his skin. It wouldn't do any good to use a healing kido until they'd been removed.

By the time she was finally finished with him, she was exhausted, but she somehow found the energy to cook while he rested. He was going to need nourishment when he woke after all, it would help him heal faster. And to be honest, she could use it herself.

An hour later, the stew she'd chosen to make was almost done, so she decided to check on him. He was still sleeping, but began to stir when she gently placed her hand on his forehead to check for fever. Those gray orbs blinked a few times, letting the room come into focus before they turned to her, confusion evident.

"Hey. How are you feeling?" Sitting on the edge of the cot next to his torso.

"Pretty good I suppose...how did I get here though?"

"How do you think?" She asked, a little more bite in her tone than she'd planned. She was tired, and hungry and she was quickly getting cranky.

"You carried me all the way here?" He asked, with a hint of disbelief in there.

"Yeah, and it wasn't easy, let me tell you."

"Thank you." His quiet response.

"Look...I'm not gonna ask you what you were doing, cause I'm pretty sure I know the answer. I'm glad that I was close by, and I'm glad that you're alright. But you scared me, you know?" She paused, letting that last part hang in the air between them for a moment.

"I would yell at you, and tell you to never do it again. But I know it won't work, and it would be hypocritical of me, considering that I am also planning to experiment the same way with my own shikai. So just...be more careful next time ok?" She knew better than to waste her breath trying to stop him.

"I promise. I am sorry that I worried you, it was not my intention." Grimacing and grabbing his head as if experiencing sharp pain.

"It's ok. You hit your head pretty hard, I think you should take it easy tomorrow. You're not concussed, but extra rest couldn't hurt. In the meantime, do you think you could handle getting up and coming outside to eat dinner with me...or would you like me to bring it to you?"

"I can join you, I don't feel too bad, except for the headache." He replied, moving to get up.

After dinner, she got him back in bed and tucked him in for the night, before getting into her own cot and passing out, completely drained from the long trip back home and the events of the rest of the day.


	7. Reconnaissance Kiss

**A/N: Hey guys! Got some good and bad news with this update. Bad news, My husband and I both lost our jobs last week. Our department was eliminated in our center and a few others. I'm not stressing, we'll be fine.**

 **But the good news is that I've had time to get this chapter written and posted, as well as plenty of time to work on the next ones! We're starting to move things along a little bit here, but please understand I have no outline for this, so I am basically winging it all lol. As usual, please read and review, I love your guys' thoughts!**

* * *

Laying in his cot, staring up into the dark, he waited until the sound of her breathing evened out before getting up and exiting the tent. He'd let her put him to bed so that she would get some sleep herself, but he wasn't tired. Fresh air and star gazing sounded like the perfect way to pass the time until he was. Not to mention it would be nice for sorting through his thoughts...and feelings.

Waking to find her at his bed side had been confusing at first, but once he saw the relief in her eyes he remembered what happened. Well, mostly anyways. He'd gone to the field to do some training, to keep his mind off of the fact that she was supposed to be returning to camp soon. He kept waiting to see her smiling face come into view, and when it started to get close to noon, he began to think about all the what if's, and worst case scenarios. If she didn't return by the end of the day, how long should he wait before trying to look for her? If she'd been found and captured, how would he know?

So instead of driving himself crazy, he decided he needed something else to focus on and made his way down the path to the training area. He ran the gamut of exercises and solo training methods several times before he grew bored. That was when he'd gotten the bright idea of trying to emulate what she'd done with her Haineko. Senbonzakura had echoed her thoughts, that it might be too dangerous with blades, but agreed to help him anyways. To be honest, she'd made it look easier than it was. He'd gotten the hang of it eventually though, and within an hour, he felt like he was ready to at least _attempt_ combining it with kido.

Starting out small, he was able to create a shakkaho spell and intertwine it with his shikai. His aim was terrible, but that was what practice was for. And after he let off a few more successful spells, he decided to make the next one bigger.

While in the middle of charging up the kido spell, he realized that he was losing control of Senbonzakuras blades more and more as it grew, so he changed his focus back to them. He'd just gotten it all under control and was ready to fire it off when he felt her spiritual pressure coming in his direction. He'd been so engulfed in what he was doing that he'd failed to notice her until she was practically right on top of him. That momentary lapse of concentration caused him to lose control and the spell exploded in his hands. After that it was all black, until he woke in their shared tent with her worried face looking down on him.

He hadn't felt or _been_ so embarrassed in a long, long time. How had he let himself get distracted enough to lose control of his kido spell? He was Byakuya Kuchiki, he didn't get side tracked. At least, that's what he'd always told himself... and others. And they seemed inclined to believe it, so he did as well. Maybe he was just growing more lax as of late, without the pressure of his family name and duties as a captain hanging over him, life was easier, more carefree.

No, that couldn't be it. There was more pressure on him now than ever if he really thought about it. After all it was going to be up to Matsumoto and himself to find a way to defeat Aizen. And that would not be an easy task by any means. They might both end up losing their lives if they weren't careful.

Speaking of Matsumoto, it had been her presence that made him forget what he was doing for a moment. If he was being completely honest with himself, he'd been elated that she had returned, losing his focus. And in turn, he blew himself up. Smooth. But the two weeks they'd been apart had seemed to drag on forever and he couldn't wait to see her, to know she was safe and unharmed.

He'd always preferred to be alone, enjoying the silence around him. Other people only provided useless chatter on subjects he didn't care about, or placed high expectations on his shoulders. He'd always felt free to be and do whatever he wanted when he was by himself. But after spending so much time with her, it felt lonely. He'd found himself speaking things out loud, as if she were just in the next room or something, only to remember that she was gone. Silence was no longer the good friend it used to be, it was no longer the solace he was always seeking in the past. He couldn't believe how accustomed he'd become to having her around.

He also couldn't believe that she'd carried him back to camp to patch him all up. It would have been easier to treat him where he was. And not that he thought she was weak, but he couldn't for the life of him figure out how she managed to drag his dead weight off the ground in the first place, let alone carry him from there. Especially considering that he'd put on quite a bit of muscle since they'd begun training. She might be taller than most women he knew, standing only a few inches shorter than himself, but he still outweighed her by a considerable amount. In the end he supposed it didn't really matter, but he was impressed nonetheless.

She hadn't yelled and screamed at him the way he was expecting her to either. In fact, she'd pretty much taken it in stride, proving once again that she was far stronger, both physically and mentally, than he'd originally thought. Of course, now that he knew her better, all of his original thoughts and impressions of her had been completely wrong. She'd turned out to be nothing like he'd been expecting and he would admit that he was pleasantly surprised.

* * *

Leaves and twigs crunched and cracked under their feet as they made their way back towards the Rukongai. It smelled like fall outside still, but winters chill was coming in faster than they expected and they were now trying to get back to their home before the first snowfall. They estimated that they were losing about two weeks worth of training time due to the weather, but it could have been worse so they weren't complaining. Well, maybe a little. And that was more Byakuya than herself.

Though most of his complaining and grouchiness could be blamed on the fact that they'd run out of coffee two days ago. It almost made her regret getting him started on the stuff in the first place...almost. She understood how he felt though, and she was sure that she was no picnic to be around right now either. As soon as they reached civilization again, which should be before noon, she'd be sure to hunt some down. Then they could take a small break to enjoy it and get themselves back in fully functioning order.

The last two months had been especially productive and she was glad that they were being forced to go home and relax a bit. Otherwise they risked running into a plateau in their progress. This way, they could continue to train their minds and bodies, so that when they were able to physically train again, they could continue to move forward. She was sure to be able to perfect her shikai/hado combinations, and come up with something new, by the end of next summer. In the meantime, resting for the winter would do them both some good.

Within the hour, the sight she'd been waiting on finally greeted her. The rundown shacks of the 80th district were in sight, and she could practically smell the coffee she was after. Finding a place to set their stuff down and rest, she left Byakuya with their things and ran off on a mission.

It took her a little longer than she thought, but eventually she made it back, handing him a steaming cup.

"Thank you. This is just what I needed." He said, inhaling the scent before testing to see if it was cool enough to drink.

"Ugh, me too. This should put the pep back in my step. I'm honestly looking forward to getting back. A hot shower sounds great." Warming her hands on her cup as a shiver ran through her, caused by a cool breeze whipping by.

"I agree, that does sound wonderful. So does sleeping indoors again." His voice a bit wistful at the thought.

"Yes! And can we please sleep in and do nothing for the first day or two that we're back? Please?" She'd been dreaming of a lazy day, she needed it and soon.

"I believe we can work that out. I too could use a day or two of rest." He said with a knowing grin.

She couldn't help but smile in return. Seeing him smile and hearing him laugh was still a bit of a shock, but she liked it. It was reassuring somehow.

* * *

They made good time for the rest of the trip, making it home half a day earlier than planned. But that had turned out to be in their favor, as it was bitterly cold that night. She and Byakuya had used the last of the firewood they'd brought back with them to keep warm while they slept. They'd curled up together in one futon in the living room, both of them sleeping better than they had for awhile. So well that they didn't get up until after noon the following day, both of them too sleepy and comfortable to get up before that.

It had been so nice sleeping next to one another, for the first time since last winter, that they'd somehow come to some unspoken agreement. In which he would quietly set up a single futon in the living room each evening, and she would quietly crawl in next to him, snuggling up close. Neither of them had brought it up, they just kept letting it continue without a word of protest.

After awhile, it became a comfort that she sought at the end of the day. Especially once they started spying on how things were going in Seireitei again. While their friends weren't being blatantly tortured in the streets, they were definitely suffering under Aizen's rule. And sleeping in Byakuyas arms at night made her feel safe. It made her feel reassured that they would fight his tyranny with everything they had.

The Gotei still existed, just in a new form, with fewer divisions up and running. The biggest change as far as that was concerned, was that there were now Espada and Arrancar in charge of the squads, a handful of the previous captains were now lieutenants...or no longer ranked at all, thanks to fracciones. Well that, and the fact that it seemed none of them were carrying their zanpaktou, except Aizens men of course. Couldn't have the peasants rising up against the king, or at least not with weapons.

While it didn't seem fair, it did seem like the kind of rule Aizen would put in place. Just like the one that stated he was to be referred to as Kami. Anything less would be taken as a direct insult and attack on the new Soul King, resulting in punishment, ranging from being flayed with a whip, up to execution.

What an egotistic ass hat. He ruled with fear, not skill or relation to the people, and those kinds of leaders never lasted long. His reign would end sooner than later if she had anything to say about it.

She'd managed to catch a glimpse of Toshiro on one of their expeditions, and it took everything in her not to alert him to her presence. She wanted to let him know that she was alright, and see how he was being treated, but let the chance pass when she realized he wasn't alone. That blonde woman walking along side him...wasn't that the Espada that he'd fought in the war? Why were they together? Had she taken over their division?

God, the more she learned about the goings on in the Gotei, the more she wanted to charge in there and cut off Aizens head already. But as Byakuya reminded her (yet again), there were only two of them and they would need much more help if they wanted to attempt that any time soon. So unfortunately, she could do nothing but watch from afar and hope that they would all survive until it was time to free them.

On the plus side, her captain seemed to be in good shape, looking healthy and unharmed. It was obvious that some of the new 'captains' were more brutal with their underlings than others, the proof in the form of large purple bruises, broken bones in slings and casts, and the way their eyes darted around in constant fear. Not to mention that they'd witnessed it with their own eyes in that bar last spring. So words couldn't explain how relieved she was to find that her captain wasn't dealing with that. At least from what she could tell anyways.

Squad 4 seemed to be the only division still functioning like it had before the war. Captain Unohana was still the head of the division, and short of her third seat and a few unseated officers who'd met their end in the war, everyone was still there carrying on like they always had. It seemed odd at first, but then they realized that Unohana was probably one of only a few who _might_ actually be able to take Aizen in a one on one situation. So it made sense that he'd let her continue to head her division, lest she decide to become a blood thirsty warrior again and turn her ire at him. He might win, but she wouldn't make it easy.

They'd later learned however, that Unohana had been taken as Aizens 'wife', and he used the death and destruction of her entire division as motivation to do as he said. He was also trying to use her to create an heir to his new throne, and she could only imagine what the woman had to endure where that was concerned. Apparently, he'd threatened _all_ of their friends with the deaths of their colleagues to get them to comply, and just to prove it, he'd murdered the head captain in front of all of them. Essentially beheading the Gotei completely.

That had been a blow they weren't expecting. They'd both mistakenly assumed that he'd been locked (or sealed) away deep within the maggots nest. That was also assuming that it was still in use and Aizen hadn't freed all the criminals from it's depths. And the thought of him no longer leading them hurt more than she was expecting.

She and Yamamoto-dono weren't close by any means, but he always knew what to say to motivate her when she needed it. He was also a bit of a perv and would let her get away with more than other lieutenants, as long as she leaned over his desk in just the right way when delivering paper work. Sometimes all she had to do was shoot him a cheeky grin and he was putty in her hands. On the other hand, he'd been tough on her when she needed it most, and he was part of the reason she'd come so far. Losing someone who'd been there since her first day at the academy was something she'd never fathomed happening.

Byakuya had been quiet for a few days after that news, and she couldn't really blame him. He was dealing in his own way. She'd settled for physical exercise herself, trying to run, jump, and crunch the pain away. Sweating it out was the best option besides crying, though she did still cry a few times...while sweating, real attractive. In contrast, he'd gone for long walks and meditated a lot. She did her best not to disturb him and within a few days, he was back to normal.

It had taken months just to learn that much information, and she prayed it was the worst of it. While all of the things they'd learned fueled her need for vengeance exponentially, it also tore her heart to pieces over those she loved going through such Hell. They'd all been forced to submit to the will of a maniac, psycho killer and his cronies, and she'd never been more grateful to the man at her side for saving her from the same.

* * *

The days were slowly but surely getting not only longer, but warmer and soon it would be time to pack up and head back out to their training place. They'd continued to train mentally with jinzen and physically as much as possible, sparring in hand to hand combat a few times a week and a general workout once a day during the winter. But that wasn't nearly enough and she was anxious to get back to the intense training they'd done last summer and fall. It was still too cool at night though, so she'd have to wait, whether she liked it or not.

In the meantime they were killing two birds with one stone, shopping for supplies while they absorbed as much information as they could from inside the walls of Seireitei. Being this close to any divisions grounds was risky, but it was where they learned the most so it was worth it. It had already been a year since the war was lost, and they couldn't waste time being scared to get close. They'd never get anywhere if they let the thought of failure hold them back.

"Hey, what do you think of this?" She asked, holding a pale green yukata with a dark purple cloud pattern adorning the sleeves and waistline, up against herself.

"I think it would look lovely on you. Green is a good color on you, it compliments your skin tone." He replied, eyes roaming the fabric.

"Thanks. I really love the pattern, and how it isn't too much. But I also really like this one over here." She said offhandedly, turning to find the other garment.

Grabbing it, she held it up, chatting away at him without noticing that he had gone still. She was so lost in her little happy shopping trip that she was unaware of her surroundings. Having no clue what was happening, you can imagine her shock when Byakuya pulled her to him suddenly. Then, before she could ask him what the Hell was going on, he was kissing her.

Oh.

 _Oh._

Her arms dropped to her sides in shock, hands letting go of whatever was in them. She was stunned for only a moment, before her brain kick started and she kissed him back. It didn't matter _how_ it happened, only that it was _happening._ His tongue begged at her lips for entrance and she quickly found herself being swept away by the moment.

The feel of his lips on hers, his arms holding her to him, one hand in her hair and the other at the small of her back, was electric. She'd never felt anything like it, her body tingled from the contact and she pulled him closer. The world around them no longer existed, there was only the smell, taste and feel of him. She literally felt weak in the knees, but managed to keep it under control. And just as she was about to deepen the kiss, he pulled away.

She felt like she was in a daze, her brain taking a moment to catch up. Looking to him, she was expecting to meet his gaze, expecting him to say something about why he'd kissed her so suddenly. Instead, he was looking off into the distance, his hands had moved to her biceps and he was holding her at arms length.

"They're gone, the coast is clear." He stated matter of factually, picking up the items she'd dropped and handing them back to her.

"What? Who's gone?" She asked, confused suddenly.

"Your friend Ayasegawa, and Ukitake-san. I apologize for my sudden impropriety, but I was afraid they would recognize you...or your voice anyway...and I couldn't seem to get your attention. So I...acted on impulse." He replied, his cheeks turning pink and gaze focused on the ground.

"Oh...it's ok. I'm sorry for losing track of where we were. Shopping is kind of my weakness." She said with a nervous laugh.

Great, she felt completely awkward now. Finding out he'd only kissed her to keep someone from recognizing them took the wind right out of her sails. She'd taken his lips on hers to mean something else entirely, and now she was left to face the realization that she wanted him, all on her own. Wow, she had terrible timing.

* * *

"Matsumoto...Matsumoto..." He attempted to break her out of her reverie.

He could see two familiar faces headed in their direction, and he was trying to alert her. Even with dark hair, she could still be recognized, and he was sure that there were some in the Gotei that would know her voice anywhere. He had to find a way to shut her up, but sudden movements would draw attention.

They were getting closer and she was still chatting away about fabrics, colors and patterns, not paying an ounce of attention to anything around her. Once they were within range of hearing her, he panicked, grabbing her and pulling her to him. He crushed his lips to hers in order to silence her, and while it worked, it was a huge mistake.

He wasn't even sure why kissing her had been the first thing to come to his mind. Maybe it was because she looked so happy while perusing the wares at each shop. Or maybe it was because he had been imaging what that green yukata would look like on her (stunning of course). Or...maybe he was just an idiot.

Gods...her lips were so soft against his, and pliant too. She smelled wonderful, her lips tasted like vanilla, and once the shock wore off her body relaxed against his. He had one hand wound into her silky hair, and one holding her to him, and before he realized what he was doing, she opened up to allow his tongue to enter her mouth.

The soft, contented sigh that came out of her at the contact sent shivers through him, causing a sigh of his own to escape. It was like the embers from a long ago fire, roaring back to life inside when she pulled him closer. The desire to kiss her in other places was upon him and he was quickly losing himself to the sensations her lips were causing, some of which he hadn't felt in so, so long. And he might have stood there, kissing her for the rest of the day, had it not been for the sound of Ukitake's quiet laugh breaking through the haze as he and Ayasegawa finally passed them.

He was grateful it had been enough to distract him from her lips, for he was sure if he'd been allowed to continue unhindered, he might have tried to take her back to their shared domicile. Who knew what might have happened then. Not that he would be opposed to some of those possibilities, in fact, a few were quite tempting, but it wasn't right.

The two of them were on a mission. Mixing business with pleasure rarely worked out, usually ending in the mission failing, or someone getting hurt...or worse. So no matter what feelings this attraction to her might cause, or stir up, he was going to keep it quiet. He appreciated her as a partner in all of this, and respected her talents and abilities, so there was no way he was going to mess this up over his physical urges. He was not an animal, he could control his baser instincts.

Still, pulling himself away had been difficult to say the least, and he put her at arms length, hoping the space would lessen the effect she'd just had on him. The dazed, ravished look she now had made it even worse. Her eyes opened slowly still hazy with desire, her lips were plump and cherry red from their kissing, and her hair was mussed in the sexiest way. He almost kissed her again...almost.

"They're gone, the coast is clear." He said as casually as possible, straightening up and surveying their surroundings.

"What? Who's gone?" She blinked in confusion.

"Your friend Ayasegawa, and Ukitake-san. I apologize for my sudden impropriety, but I was afraid they would recognize you...or your voice anyway...and I couldn't seem to get your attention. So I...acted on impulse." He replied. He couldn't seem to meet her gaze, his face feeling warm as he stared at their feet.

"Oh...it's ok. I'm sorry for losing track of where we were. Shopping is kind of my weakness." She said with a nervous laugh.

"Did they look well?" She asked after an awkward silence settled over them.

"From what I could tell. They were laughing, so they must be doing alright." Glad to have something else to talk about.

"That's good...can we get some food? I'm starving!" She exclaimed, dragging him by his sleeve in the direction she wanted him to go.

He hadn't missed the look of disappointment and embarrassment on her face when he'd dismissed what happened so easily. It made him wonder if she too had felt the spark that he did. Either way, she seemed to have shaken it off, changing the subject and their location. That was for the best, they couldn't afford to be distracted by one another like that. At least not until Aizen had been dethroned.

* * *

They'd danced around one another awkwardly for the next few days, but in time they were able to get back to the way they'd been before the kiss. And before he knew it, they were making their way back out to their training grounds. They were starting sooner this year, choosing to leave on the first day of spring instead of waiting a few weeks. No time was to be wasted this year, they were prepared to be out there until late fall, no interruptions.

He was chomping at the bit to get back to it, ready to expand on his proficiency with Senbonzakura. He had been thinking all winter of new ideas and attacks to try out, and even his zanpaktou was displaying rare enthusiasm at the chance to finally do it. The next few months were going to be very productive, he could feel it. And not just for himself, but for her too.

In fact, with any luck, she should be reaching her bankai before the next winter rolled in. She wouldn't have enough time to perfect it before they had to defeat Aizen, but at least she'd have it. Almost like an ace up the sleeve. And the closer she got to reaching that goal, the more curious he was becoming about it. Would it be like his, and allow her to do as she wished with a larger cloud of ash? Or would it be something completely different? There were so many options when it came to bankai, but if her spiritual pressure was anything to go by, it was definitely going to be powerful.


	8. Death of the Gotei

**A/N: Yay! A new chapter update! Sorry this took me so long, but I finally buckled down and got some of the plot and whatnot figured out, so this won't be such a fly by the seat of my pants kinda thing anymore lol. Also, in figuring out more of the details, I realized that if I want to truly do a losing the war story, I can't only Focus on Byakuya and Rangiku. Yes, this is a Byaran fic but only using their povs is limiting and I want to give you guys a bigger picture than that ^_^. With that said...this chapter is from the pov of Toshiro and Rukia!**

 **As always, please leave me a review...your reviews and words truly do motivate me to write the best chapters I can!**

* * *

Opening his eyes, he had to squint against the bright lights that assaulted them. His head was pounding, every throb feeling as though it would explode, and he immediately came to regret trying to lift it up. He needed to survey his surroundings and figure out what the Hell had happened though. Trying to use his hands proved to be impossible, the realization that they were chained behind his back setting in quickly. He struggled against the bindings for only a moment before going still, his shoulders slouching forward in defeat.

Shit. Now he remembered. Knowing he'd lost his battle against the 3rd Espada was a blow to his pride, as well as a surprise, he'd thought for sure that he was stronger than her. But the last thing he remembered was the sensation of drowning and darkness all around. More surprising though, was the fact that he was still alive. He'd believed that losing meant death against Aizen's henchmen, or henchwoman in this particular case. Though he was sure that by the time it was all said and done that he'd be wishing for death.

It wasn't surprising however, to find that Hyorinmaru had been removed from his side and was nowhere in sight. Smart. Without Zanpaktou, he and the others would have no way to try and escape, at least not one that would have any chance of success anyway. Speaking of others, he wondered how many of them were left. Who'd survived their battles and who hadn't?

Finally able to shake the cobwebs from his head, throbbing be damned, he looked up to find Captain Ukitake seated across from himself, Renji Abari on his left and Orihime Inoue on his right. The three of them gave him looks of relief when they noticed he was alert. On his own right was Nanao Ise, and to his left...Gin Ichimaru. All of them restrained in the same manner he was, on their knees with their hands bound behind them, their Zanpaktou missing as well. There were Espada scattered around the room, keeping and eye on them. In fact, the woman he'd lost to was standing behind him, staring down at him silently. She was extremely hard to read with the rest of her face covered.

Ignoring her, he tried to see beyond those closest to him, accounting for a few more lives as his eyes adjusted. Down towards the other end of the room he could see Uryu Ishida and Captain Komamura, Lieutenants Kotetsu and Kurotsuchi, as well as a few of the Vizards that had come to their aid. He wasn't sure of their names, but they had fought hard. So this was it? How many faces that were unaccounted for were dead? How many escaped to the living world?

Wait. Where was Matsumoto?! She'd been with Gin the last time he'd seen her, and she was practically dead on her feet then. Had he done something to her? Had Aizen done something? Was she still alive? Just because she wasn't in the room, didn't mean she was dead. In fact, being anywhere but this room had to be better. What about Momo? He'd stabbed her himself thanks to their enemy, and he prayed that she was alright. If she'd died from the injury he'd inflicted, he wasn't sure he could handle that. His heart was heavy enough as it was, knowing that they'd lost the war.

"She got away...I know it." Ichimaru whispered suddenly.

"What? Who?" He asked.

"Ran-chan...I told her to run..." He rasped out.

"You don't deserve to call her that." He spat quietly. How dare he speak her name so familiarly after what he'd done to her.

"Stop talking." The blonde woman behind him spoke firmly.

Deciding it was best to just go along for now, he nodded to Ichimaru. The man looked close to death when he got a good look at him. None of his injuries had been healed, some of them brutal, and it was a wonder he had the energy to breath, let alone speak. He was pale and sweaty, his breaths short and strained, and there was blood...a lot of it.

Not that it mattered, the man was a traitor. He'd betrayed everyone and broken Rangiku's heart, yet here he was, still alive, while she could be dead somewhere. That bastard could drop dead right there for all he cared. Despite his hatred for the man, he hoped that he was right, that she'd gotten away and was safe. As safe as she could be anyways. Rangiku was a survivor though, so if she did get away, she was alive. And if that was the case, and he knew her as well as he thought, she was already planning a way to get them out of the situation at hand.

They were in the first division, in the hall that held captain's meetings, which probably meant that Aizen was planning to address them all. He could only imagine the kind of tyranny he had planned for them all, his own imagination enough to make him shudder at the images it conjured. It didn't take long for him to find out however, as said man entered the room, right on cue. Curiously, Captain Unohana was trailing behind him, a look of forced stoicism on her face.

Taking a seat in the head captains chair, he made himself comfortable, looking down over all of them with a lecherous grin on his face. He'd released his final form, once again looking more human rather than like a giant evil butterfly. His eyes stayed the same though, those white iris' and purple scaleras were haunting and unnatural. The hogyoku had turned him into a monster...a monster that they had just lost to.

"How wonderful it is to see all of you, awaiting my presence so patiently. Is this all of them?" He asked his men.

"Yes, Aizen-Kami." They replied in unison.

"Excellent. I will start by telling all of you that I do not wish to kill you...but I will if it is necessary. Now, I understand that making such a statement without proof of my commitment to it, will only make some of you start planning a revolt sooner than later so..." Pausing, he stood as the doors of the head captains private chambers creaked open.

He watched in horror as their leader was dragged out and thrown down before Aizen on his knees. The man looked as though he'd been beaten badly, parts of his body were charred- a result of using high level kido spells that affect the caster. Some of them were forbidden for that exact reason, so if he'd used them, his opponent must have been terrifyingly strong.

Aizen bent to whisper in the mans ear, Yamamoto responding by spitting at his captor. Aizens spiritual pressure flared in anger, making it hard to breath, and he wasn't the only one affected. Everyone in the room looked as though they were about to pass out. Letting up before any of them could succumb to the impending blackness, he grabbed the kneeling captain by the head and tilted it back, forcing him to look up at his captor.

His heart raced and a sense of panic made him squirm against his restraints when he realized what was about to happen. His blood froze and he felt like he was going to be sick, sweat breaking out over his forehead. It was as if time had slowed down, he could see everything clearly but had no way to stop it.

"Stupid old man...stubborn to the end eh?" He growled angrily, wiping the spit from his clothing.

Without warning he unsheathed Kyoka Suigetsu and ran it across the mans throat, blood rushing out from the injury like a river. Screams and gasps of shock rang out all around the room, some people including himself attempting to move forward, trying to go to his side. He somehow managed to hold down the need to vomit, but others were not so lucky as the sound (and smell) of stomachs spilling on the floor filled his ears. The hysteria didn't go on for long though as Aizen once again flared his spiritual pressure to silence them all.

He'd closed his eyes and turned away, but it was already too late. The image of the old man lying there as the life faded from his eyes, would forever be burned into his memory. Nightmares of this moment would plague him for sometime to come, and he was sure he wasn't the only one.

This time, when Aizen let up on his crushing pressure, Gin collapsed to the floor. He'd only fallen unconscious, but in his condition it was a miracle that he was still holding onto life at all. Their new dictator seemed intrigued, getting up and walking over to the mans limp and lifeless body.

"I should let you die after the way you betrayed me...but then you wouldn't have suffered enough. Death would be letting you take the easy way out at this point...no, I have plans for you my traitorous friend." He hissed as he kicked the man. Gin's eyes flew open from the impact to his stomach and he gasped for air.

"I knew from the beginning that you would betray me, and all for that woman...believe me when I tell you...I am going to find her. And when I do, she will pay for your sins...and you will know true torture." Grabbing the man by the hair and tossing him towards the front of the room.

"Retsu, please see to his injuries at once. I want him back in working order as soon as possible. And Orihime dear...please see to the others."

Both healers rushed to do as he said, not missing a beat and moving into action immediately. His gaze met Unohana's as she began working on the silver haired man and she looked away quickly, but not before he saw the guilt and shame in those orbs. Just what had they discussed behind those large oak doors? What had he threatened her with in order to get her to follow his orders without question?

And what was all that about Ichimaru betraying Aizen? Over a woman? Weren't they on the same side of the battle? If not, did that mean the woman he'd done it for was Rangiku? His mind started racing at the thought. If she was alive, then she was in real danger.

"My Espada, my arrancar..." Aizen piped up, interrupting his train of thought.

"You have helped assure my victory and for that I thank you. As a reward for all of your hard work, please feel free to claim the defeated as your own. You may use them as you see fit...but there is _one_ rule...they are not to be killed...under any circumstances. Once this meeting is over you may take your chosen with you, and as promised you may also find yourselves homes. Try not to kill anyone over them...but if it comes to that so be it." A grin stretching across his face.

"Within the hour, I will be summoning the remaining forces who are waiting patiently for my orders. Once they are in the Soul Society they will be allowed to do the same for themselves, so it would be wise to have your choices in order by then. I do not wish for there to be any fighting over den rights."

After hearing that, he zoned out, no longer having the energy or fortitude to listen to the man. He was giving them to his men as if they were a child's playthings, and there was nothing any of them could do about it. Fury was running through his veins, his blood boiling, and it took everything he had to reign it in and not let it get the best of him. He was smart enough to know it wasn't the time or place to lose his cool, and if the rooms temperature began to drop- as he sometimes had a tendency to freeze things when he was angry- he might draw Aizens attention to himself. That would not end well...guaranteed.

The mans continuous drivel had been reduced a buzzing sound in his ears, his mind deeming what was being said as unimportant in favor of processing the situation. Though he wasn't having much luck with that either, it was too much to take in all at once. Between worrying for the safety of those around him, as well as his own, and worrying about Rangiku being found, not to mention the thought of being a captive made him feel like he wanted to shut down and possibly even cry.

"I believe a list has been compiled of those who are confirmed dead, has there not?"

The words "confirmed dead" were enough to drag him out of his own thoughts and back to reality. Looking around he could see the others waiting with baited breath to hear the names, some of them in tears already just at the thought. He wasn't sure he was prepared, but at least they would know now, and not have to find out one by one as time went on.

Momo was dead. A piece of himself died at the news, his heart breaking in two. He would never see her smile again, or hear her call him Shiro. He'd never get to tell her how much he really cared for her, or apologize to her. His only childhood friend was gone, the only family he had left was gone.

No, that wasn't right. Not yet anyway. Aizen had not said Rangiku's name, and he hoped he wouldn't. If she was alive, then he still had family. Family that would be hunted down by a maniac, but it still gave him a reason to fight, to find a way out of this, to get his life back. And when the list concluded, without her name being called, he let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding. Relief washed over him at the knowledge that she was out there somewhere, that he would see her again someday. Now all he could do was pray that she would stay away from Aizens grasp.

"Brother! Renji! Where are you?!" She shouted as she ran through the real Karakura town, the one that had been teleported to the Soul Society.

It was clear to her that they'd just failed, all their hard work up in smoke, and she had to force herself to focus. Otherwise, she might have just crumpled to the ground right there and given up on fighting any further. Finding her brother and Renji were her first priority, they had to get out of there as soon as possible.

The ground rocked and shook under her feet as she ran, thick clouds of smoke, ash and dust obscuring her way more and more. Her eyes burned, more from her tears than anything else, but she ignored it choosing to focus instead on feeling for familiar spiritual pressures as she went. Ichigo was trailing somewhere behind her, no doubt looking for any trace of his friends and family hoping someone was still alive. He was moving around ok, but he had some injuries that were going to need healing soon otherwise he might collapse.

She knew that Byakuya was in Soul Society, she'd felt his arrival through a garganta along with Kenpachi, but where? Things were just starting to become more normal between them. He was starting to act more like the big brother he was supposed to be lately, rather than the cold and uncaring one he'd been before. And Renji..she'd just reconnected with him after all their years apart and was looking forward to having her best friend back for good. Though she hadn't been able to sense him in all the chaos around her, he was alright. She would know if he wasn't.

Stopping for a moment she tried to get a lock on her brother, but then realized that she should head for the Kuchiki manor in Seireitei, not waste time searching in Karakura town (the real one). That would be one of the first places he would go, if only to tell the elders to get out and hide somewhere safe. In fact, she should be doing the same thing, she was a Kuchiki after all, and it was her duty to protect her family.

"Ichigo! I have to go home! Keep looking for people here, I'll be back as soon as I can!" Cupping her hands around her mouth as she yelled, hoping to help her voice travel farther.

She knew that they'd agreed not to split up, worried that they'd never find one another again, but she didn't want him to stop looking for his family just to help her with hers. His face showed his displeasure at her suggestion openly, but instead of arguing he let out a deep sigh and waved her on. She knew he wouldn't let her go alone if he didn't believe she could handle herself, and his faith in her only strengthened her resolve. In fact, if they survived the night, she was going to have to sit him down and tell him how she felt. Whatever the future held, she wanted to face it at his side, clan rules be damned.

Approaching the gates of the manor she caught a trace of her brothers spiritual pressure, it was faint but it was definitely him. Apparently he'd already been there and left, his room looked like it had been ransacked, the kitchen as well. The manor was eerily quiet, making the hairs on her arms and neck stand on end, she was on high alert for an enemy lurking in the shadows down every hall. Nothing, she found nothing and no one in the huge mansion. Byakuya must have warned the family to get out at once. And he'd been gone so long that she couldn't use his spiritual pressure to track which way he'd gone when he left.

Well, before meeting back up with Ichigo, she might as well take advantage of the silence and grab what she could from her home before it was gone, just like her brother must have done. It didn't take long to grab a few items of clothing and some money. She'd also grabbed a few things from her brothers closet for Ichigo, who knew when either of them would be able to find anything besides what they had on.

Once she got back to the transported town, she found Ichigo easily at the end of one of the streets and resumed looking for signs of anyone at the opposite end. If they both worked their way to the middle they could cover the whole block in half the time. Fires were burning and people were screaming in the distance, enemy or foe she couldn't tell and she wasn't sure she wanted to find out, but there were no signs of life where they were standing.

Closing her eyes for a moment she scanned the area for any familiar spiritual pressures and finally found Renji's. She signaled Ichigo and then took off in the direction of her friend. Her focus was solely on finding him and it was almost the end of her. A errant cero had been shot towards her vicinity, and if it hadn't been for Ichigo grabbing her and ducking under a broken piece of building she would have been toast.

"Thanks Ichigo...I owe you one." Standing and brushing the dust from her eyes and hair and starting to move again.

"Where the Hell are you going?!" He called after her.

"I found Renji, he's hurt, we have to go get him!"

"Rukia! We don't have time!" Ichigo yelled, catching up to her and grasping her bicep in an attempt to stop her frantic searching.

"Aizen is closing Senkaimon access down, we have to get out of here! If we go..." His face becoming somber as his mind finished the thought.

"I can't just leave them! I can't believe you of all people are willing to do that!" She shouted, glaring at him angrily. What was wrong with him? Leaving men behind wasn't really his thing.

"You're right, ok?! I don't want to go without them either, but if we don't...we aren't going to get out of here at all! Honestly Rukia, We don't have time if we want to survive this...Byakuya and Renji are more than capable of getting themselves to safety...I'm sure they'll be fine."

The look in his eyes told her just how much it hurt him to say those words, to decide that they had to leave their friends to their own fate, that they couldn't save them. He was right of course, but that didn't make it any easier for her to agree.

"We'll find them later then...promise?" It was the best she could come up with.

"Yeah. It's a promise. Now lets go." He said, taking her smaller hand in his.

She trusted Ichigo with her life so listening to him and following him wherever he was leading her wasn't difficult. In fact it was probably the easiest thing she'd done all day. At least even if they never found the others, the two of them would be together, and that reassured her a little bit. Knowing there was someone she could rely on, someone who'd never let her give up, someone who'd push her to always keep looking forward gave her a momentary sense of calm among all the chaos around her.

Her legs were a lot smaller than his and she quickly began to fall behind, unable to cover as much distance in a single step. Luckily, he seemed to notice and took it upon himself to remedy the situation. Instead of just dragging her along, as she'd honestly half expected the idiot to do in the heat of the moment, he pulled her up into his arms and started to carry her. She'd been surprised to say the least, but for once she wasn't going to fight with him or give him a hard time.

It was clear that he was as worried as she was, not only about their own lives but the others as well. She'd never seen the look on his face before and the way he was squeezing her to him made her heart sink at the thought of how many people they might never see again. Pushing those thoughts aside, she instead made a silent vow to herself that one day they would take the Soul Society back. They would put an end to Aizen once and for all and restore balance and peace to their world. Even if it meant she had to die to accomplish it.

Coming to a stop he placed her back on her feet and made sure she was steady before letting go. He was about to open a senkaimon back to the world of the living when the barriers around Karakura began to crumble, the town would being sent back to it's original location without them, and that meant they were going with it whether they wanted to or not. Afraid they might be injured or separated in the process she grabbed him and buried her head in his chest, her arms around his middle holding him to her. His arms clutched her to him in response, so tight it was bordering on painful as the world around them warped and twisted.

Amazingly, when everything finally came to a stop they were both still alive and in one piece, standing in the middle of town. Shit...if Karakura had been put back, and Aizen had won, that meant he would be creating the Ouken anytime now. They still weren't safe and they needed to figure out where to go immediately. In fact, where didn't really matter as long as it wasn't Karakura Town.

All they could do now was run and hope they made it out of town before it was vaporized. So that's what they did, they ran. Her heart was beating too fast and her lungs were begging her to stop for air but she couldn't risk it. Pushing herself to continue on despite the pain she saw Ichigo turn a corner and come to a stop. Buildings along the road they needed had collapsed, blocking their way.

"Shit! Go that way!" He shouted.

They both knew Karakura well, running mostly on auto pilot as they maneuvered their way through the city. What was still standing and passable anyways. The battled that had raged there while the town was in Soul Society had taken it's toll. Even if Aizen wasn't about to level it any minute now, it would still take years to recover from all the damage. And for a moment she wondered how the humans would explain what had happened, or what was about to happen.

There was no time to think about that though as they reached the end of yet another blocked path. This time she really did need a second to catch her breath, sweat dripping from every pore in her body. Before either of them could say anything, or figure out which way to go, a loud boom rang out and a bright light lit up the sky. Shit, it was starting and the light was making it's way towards them quickly. Even with shunpo, they weren't likely to outrun it.

"Ichigo! Ichigo!" She screamed, grabbing him by the collar.

"Ichigo! If this is the end...I love you!" Searching his eyes. A slightly cocky grin burst out across his face.

"I know! I love you too!" He yelled, pulling her close and crushing his lips against hers unexpectedly.

Whoa. It was so much easier to tell someone how you felt when you were about to die. He'd taken that much smoother than she thought he would, all things considered .And now she was enjoying the feeling of his mouth moving over hers. If this was the end, she would savor every last second they had left.


	9. Home

**A/N: Yo! I'm back with another installment for you! Good news, I landed a great new job and will be starting in just under 2 weeks. Bad news, training is intense and will last 7 months, so it may be awhile before I get the next chapter up for you guys. I promise I will try as hard as I can to get one out without taking too long. In the meantime, thank you for reading and thanks to those who leave me reviews, you motivate me to write ^_^**

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"OI! Knock it off ya crazy bastard! We don't have time for this!" Ichigo yelled, blocking the sword strike aimed at him just in time.

"Come on Ichigo! We finally have some space...and I've been itching to fight you again!" Kenpachi said with a maniacal grin.

"What the hell is wrong with you!?"

"That's enough! Ichigo is right, we don't have time for fighting. Besides, we don't want to draw attention to ourselves here." Yoruichi cut in, silencing them both.

"Eh? You think you can stop me? Bring it on then! I've never fought you...I bet you can give me a good fight huh?" Kenpachi challenged, puffing out his chest.

"You want a fight? Fine. Later. Right now, we need to get this equipment and supplies and get out. So either make yourself useful or go be a lookout." Dismissing him easily, but not without a promise of pain in her gaze.

"Yeah yeah, I'm gonna hold you to that." He mumbled, shrugging it off and strolling away from the group.

They were back in Karakura town for the first time since Aizen created the Ouken and it looked pretty much the same as it had that day. She and Ichigo were only alive thanks to Yoruichi and sheer dumb luck. They had stopped running close to the Urahara shoten and she'd managed to pull them into the safety of the underground training area before it was too late. If it hadn't been for her and her combined efforts with Kisuke and Hatchigen to create a barrier strong enough to survive the blast, they would probably all be dead.

At the time, once the coast was clear, they'd taken only what they could carry and vacated the area. But now, after six months of hiding out in cramped quarters with one another, they were finally back to collect more supplies and equipment that had been left behind. Luckily, it was all still there. Aizen's men hadn't found and destroyed everything before they could get back to it. It was a lucky break and they were going to make the most of it.

Ducking under the yellow police tape that had been put up around what was left of the block the Urahara Shoten once stood on, she took a moment to take it all in. The town had been leveled, nothing of it's former glory remaining in the wake of such destruction. She remembered emerging from underground and searching for signs that anyone had survived, but there were none. No one but those she was with had escaped that blazing light.

So many souls gone, in the blink of an eye. The humans of course couldn't explain _what_ had happened, let alone _how_ , and it sent a shock wave of fear and panic through the whole of the living world. Watching the news reports, some believed it to be a terrorist attack from enemy forces, others thought it was a sign from various deities that the end of days was upon them, while only a few believed it to be the work of spirits and supernatural beings.

The problem was that they couldn't find any evidence of what caused such large scale destruction. There were no bodies to be found, just piles of clothing left behind, which was strange enough on it's own. Add to that, the town looked like a bomb had gone off, but there was nothing to support that in the wreckage, nor was there any evidence of chemical warfare. No traces of deadly gases, no bullets or weapons, no blast residues or points of ignition for such a thing left them all scratching their heads.

In the end, they quarantined off the entire town, deciding it was better to be safe than sorry. There had been a few people who survived because they'd been out of town at the time, but even they were not allowed to go back to their homes. Not that there would be much there if they could. She could sympathize with them though, leaving her own home behind had been difficult to say the least.

Now here she was, digging through the remains of what she considered a second (maybe third) home. They'd covered the entrance to the underground area when they fled, and the activity of the humans had piled even more on top of it since then. It would have been so easy to hit the pile of debris with a kido spell to clear it out of the way. If only they could. But of course that would draw attention, either from the humans, or the enemy. Either way, they had decided it was best to forgo using their abilities for awhile, at least out in the open.

They rarely even engaged hollow anymore. Cleansing them would make it obvious that there was at least one shinigami still alive in the living world. So even though they hated it, they had to let the hollow roam and consume unhindered. They only attacked if there was no other way.

Months had been spent searching and moving from place to place. They were afraid to stay in any one place for too long, lest they be found out. Adapting to an almost gypsy way of life, constantly on the move, had been an interesting journey but she was glad they were finally talking about staying put for a little while.

Unfortunately, they couldn't just stay there and use the underground area for a new hideout, it would be too risky, not to mention obvious. There may not be active patrols in the area anymore, but that didn't mean it'd been forgotten about. Knowing Aizen, the silence was a trap, meant to lure them in with a false sense of security. So instead, they were going to get the gigais (which were sorely needed), Kisukes research, and any equipment that wasn't bolted down and move it to the abandoned warehouse they'd found a town over. It wasn't the prettiest of places, but it was far more spacious than the places they had stopped prior.

Not having gigais, at least not enough for everyone, had been both good and bad for them. Their absence made getting out of Karakura much easier as they couldn't be seen by ninety-nine percent of the humans they encountered as they made it to the edge of town and crossed over into the next. She remembered running past them, looks of awe and terror on their faces as they stared off in the direction she came from, their eyes never turning to her or her companions.

But it also made it difficult to get food and supplies while they were on the move. You couldn't exactly go into a grocery or clothing store to buy things when no one could see you. Luckily, Kon had been in the bunker of the shoten, hiding out in order to keep Ichigo's real body safe, so he was able to go out and get the things they needed when necessary. Like the vehicle they were currently loading up with the treasures from their scavenging. It was an old beat up van, but Kisuke was able to keep it running for them, and she was grateful because driving from town to town was preferable to walking any day.

The ride to the warehouse was unusually lively and jovial. Kisuke and Shunsui were both jokers and she admired their strength. To be able to stay so lighthearted and optimistic in the face of such horror, to tell jokes and make people smile in times of stress and anxiety was truly a gift. They were so good in fact, that for a few minutes she forgot about all the tragedy and sadness. It was as if they were all just on a mission together, having fun and not looking over their shoulders at every turn.

Looking around at all the smiling faces it amazed her that there were so many of them now. The group had started out smaller with Ichigo and herself, Yoruichi, Kisuke, Hatchi, Rose and Lisa. They'd stumbled upon Shunsui on their way out of town, he was badly injured but he'd managed to drag himself out of the blast radius by mere inches. His pink kimono was scorched, illustrating just how close of a call it had been. Hatchi had patched him up just enough to get him moving, they couldn't stay out in the open, and it was amazing that he'd survived those first couple days.

Finally stopping to rest posed it's own problem however, as everyone now had time to process what had happened and what the future might hold for them. She'd cried for hours over the deaths of her friends, so many wonderful, young, innocent lives. Lives that should have carried on for many more years. Her only solace was knowing that her brother and Renji were both alive. Well, Byakuya got out of Seireitei, she just knew it in her heart, but Renji...he was captured, so she couldn't be sure. Who knows what Aizen might have done to those he took as prisoners, it gave her chills just thinking about it.

Ichigo on the other hand...her heart broke for him. He'd finally broken down and cried it out, collapsing into her arms. She'd held him and stroked his hair, assuring him that he'd done everything he could, that it wasn't his fault. He'd not only lost his friends, but also his family in the fight. He blamed himself for not being strong enough to save them and everyone else, taking too much of the weight on his own shoulders as usual.

She'd never seen him so distraught before, but she was glad that he was sharing his burden with her. She would help him remember that they needed to use all of the anger and pain, focus that energy on taking back the Seireitei and destroying the bastard that started all of this. They would pay him back double for what he'd done.

While the group was resting, Yoruichi took the opportunity to go out on a few solo missions in cat form, intending to find food and supplies to get them to the next place. They had no idea how long they would be on the run for. How long would it take for Aizen to stop looking for them? Would he ever stop? Was there a distance from Karakura town that would ensure he couldn't find them? And if so, how far was it? With so many unanswered questions it was best to keep going.

It didn't escape anyone that Yoruichi was the only one who wasn't getting a chance to rest up. Kisuke voiced his opinion loudly, eventually insisting that she take at least one day before going out again. He understood the necessity of her reconnaissance, but he also knew she couldn't sustain the pace she'd been going at. She chose to ignore his concerns and go anyway. It was a stupid move on her part and could have ended horribly. Instead, she'd found Shinji wandering around on his own, covered in blood.

Hiyori had died in his arms and he'd thought he was the only survivor. Until he saw a black cat with golden eyes approaching. So it was understandable that he wasn't his usual self, his depression over her death written all over his face. But he'd recovered himself much quicker with other people around him. In fact, that was probably true for all of them. She was sure she'd be ready to give up if she were alone. With the others, she had something to focus on, a goal to work towards and something left to believe in.

Halfway back to their safe spot, Yoruichi had reached her limit and passed out, reverting to her human form involuntarily. She was lucky that she'd found Shinji first or she might not have made it back to them. She'd been gone far longer than normal, and Kisuke had been both furious and relieved when Shinji showed up at the door carrying the naked woman in his arms. His worry over her had been almost palpable to the rest of the group as he paced the floors back and forth waiting. There was a collective sigh of relief in the room when he took her from Shinji and put her to bed. After that he wouldn't let her out of his sight until he was sure she was alright again.

It wasn't until a few weeks later when they'd come across the last two additions to their group. It was only fitting that Kenpachi and Ikakku were found together, fighting like mad men against a large group of hollows. The idiots were letting their spiritual pressures go wild, in turn drawing more beasts to their location. In their eyes it was a perfect plan, they could fight as long as they wanted. The crazy bastards really were like peas in a pod when it came to such things.

The size of their group made many things difficult at first, but with some time and patience they were able to feel each other out and learn to work together. Learning to use each others strengths to get their missions accomplished, and so far it had been working pretty well. Not to say that there hadn't been several knock-down drag-out fights, or that they didn't still happen occasionally, but they'd come to a good place in relation to one another so far.

Once they'd returned back to the warehouse and got everything unloaded she and Ichigo stepped out back to get some fresh air and take a break. The day had been long and they could use a few quiet moments. Their new temporary home had enough space inside for basic training, but behind the building was the best part. There was a large open field that was more than adequate for full out battles should they deem it safe enough to do so. Though speaking of, there was one person who couldn't wait to make use of it. Kenpachi wasted no time in finding them and challenging Ichigo again, just as he had earlier.

No matter how much he protested the idea of fighting the madman, she knew that Ichigo actually enjoyed being able to fight a strong opponent, someone who could take it if he decided to really let loose. She would never dream of confirming that by asking him, but she didn't have to, it was in his eyes and the smile on his face whenever the two of them did get a chance to spar. And she was glad there were people strong enough for him to train against, without restraint. Even though she'd grown stronger herself, she wasn't sure she'd ever be able to stack up against the might of Zangetsu.

In this case however, Yoruichi showed up and dragged him inside, intent to make good on her promise to fight the former captain. Ichigo let out a heavy sigh, glad to have dodged that bullet, but it didn't stop him from wanting to watch what was unfolding. They found a spot among the rest of the group, it seemed everyone was interested in this one, and he pulled her into his lap and wrapped his arms around her. She was still shy about being so open with their affection for one another, but she didn't make a big deal out of it.

The day had been a good one, productive and safe as they'd run into no trouble on their missions and some evening entertainment was well deserved by all. Not to mention that, as she expected, Yoruichi did not disappoint. She made winning against Kenpachi look easy, and he seemed ecstatic to have found someone who could do so without hesitation. Maybe he'd quit bugging Ichigo so often now.

Their futures were still uncertain, but they were making the most of everyday and would continue to do so as long as they were alive. And she looked forward to the day when they could reunite with all of their friends and family. The day when things could be normal again. She would wait for it, no matter how long it took.

She was close. So close she could taste it. But no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't seem to go all the way. She knew that attaining bankai wasn't going to be easy, or fast, but she'd been feeling so good lately that she was sure she'd _at least_ be able to release it by the time they had to go back for the winter. Sadly, that wasn't the case. Byakuya had tried to cheer her up about it, assuring her that she would get it soon for sure but she was still feeling down. All that she could get from Haineko was that "there was still conflict in her heart". What the Hell did that even mean anyway? She was ready to move forward, wasn't that enough?

Obviously not. So now she needed to figure out how to resolve said conflict, or at least figure out what the conflict even was. Deep down, she knew, but how do you get over what she'd been through? It seemed she needed to do some thinking, maybe she should go _there._ It had been two years since the end of the war, and even longer since she'd journeyed to that place, yet it suddenly seemed to be calling out to her. Something was telling her that the answers she needed were there and she decided it was best to listen.

"Byakuya...can we make a stop on the way home?" She asked, gathering her things into her pack.

"I don't see why not...where is it that you'd like to stop?" He asked, never looking up from the list he was writing. They always made a list of supplies that they would need for winter before heading home, that way they could gather a large portion of it on their journey.

"Well...it's risky...and personal. I want to stop in the 64th district...the home that Gin and I shared as kids..." She trailed off. She hadn't really thought it through before asking him and she didn't really know what to say.

He didn't respond, but he had stopped what he was doing and lifted his gaze to hers. She had his full attention and he was waiting patiently for her to continue or elaborate. He was intrigued by her request, she could tell from the look in his eyes. In the past two years she'd learned that his facial expressions were meant to distract, the real way to read him was in the eyes. They gave him away completely if one took the time to look past his somber, emotionless facade.

"It's just...I used to go there every year...to remind me who I am, where I came from and what I wanted in life. And now...it's been years since I've been there. I know it's not the smartest place to go, but I really feel like it's important...like I'll find the answers I'm looking for there. I think...I think I need to say goodbye to that place...so my heart can be at peace...so I can move on." Taking a deep breath and trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill.

"Well, if it is that important to you, then it is worth the risk." The slightest hint of a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.

"It seems pretty personal though...would you prefer to do it alone? I can keep moving and let you catch up, or find something within the town to amuse myself for a little while." He offered, turning back to his list.

"Maybe...actually, no. I'd like it if you were there with me." She said after a few moments thought. If she was alone, she could end up too distracted by her emotions to notice an enemy approaching. But if Byakuya was with her, he could keep an eye out. Having him there would also help deepen the bond they'd formed. He knew that she grew up in the Rukongai, but to actually see it with his own eyes, to absorb the gravity of it all might help him understand her better. And maybe, sometime in the future, it would encourage him to open up to her a bit more, so she could understand him better.

"Then I will be there."

Even after all the years that had passed it still looked just as it had the day they'd discovered it. Their little shack with the slightly crooked door, a busted window and a hole in the roof. The tree in the front was as solid as ever, and the front porch now had some roots to compete with but otherwise she could have first found it yesterday.

"So this is it...this is where Gin and I lived as kids." She said with a sigh. There were so many memories, both good and bad, attached to the place and it was a little strange having an outsider standing there with her. She'd never brought anyone here and she suddenly felt naked. He was seeing a big part of what made her who she was, showing it to him felt akin to bearing her soul.

"Even with a proper roof, window and door, it hardly seems big enough for two." He said offhandedly, his eyes taking in the scene before him.

"Well, the roof has never been "proper" nor have the door or window. It's always been like this...but it was home." She replied, a wistfulness in her voice at the thought of her first night here. She'd felt like she was home for the first time, and it was Gin who'd made it possible.

"So you lived here...the two of you..." He trailed off. It seemed he was having trouble grasping the words he wanted to say, or what it was that he wanted to ask. Maybe he was worried about offending her or something. Surely he couldn't imagine living in such a small broken place, he'd grown up with a roof over his head and a full stomach every night.

"Yes...we lived here just as it is. Trust me, in the winters, the four walls were better than nothing at keeping the cold at bay, if only a little. We'd have probably died if we hadn't found this place." Sitting on the tiny little porch that ran along the front of the shack.

"My apologies...It seems I am unsure of what to say." He said quietly, leaning against one of the posts holding up said porch roof.

"It's ok. You don't have to say anything, I just appreciate your company."

That tiny shack and Gin had been her life for the longest time. Even after she'd joined the academy and become a soul reaper, she would come back often just to hang out and dream. As a girl, she'd thought the life they had was perfect. They didn't have much, but they had each other, and they always managed to get by. But looking back as an adult she realized that nothing here had ever been what she thought back then. All those times that he'd left her without so much as a word, she never really knew if he was going to come back. She hoped of course, but no matter how much she wanted to believe in him unwaveringly, she couldn't.

As time went on and they got older, her feelings were manipulated and turned against her by the man she loved. Yes, he was pushing her away in order to protect her in the end, but he could have just told her. She knew that was easier said than done, especially where Aizen was concerned, but she just wished he would have at least tried. All those dreams they would talk about, of them getting a house, settling down, and maybe even starting a family had gone up in smoke long before she'd realized it. He'd known from the moment he'd joined Aizen that it was likely he would die in the end.

Come to think of it, that was probably why he never let her get as close to him as she'd let him get to her. Once they were Soul Reapers he'd resisted her at every turn whenever she talked about the future, and he started acting like he didn't want her anymore. He'd even tried to set her up on a date with someone else once. _**Once**_. She had not been pleased about that and did not hold back in letting him know it. That same night he'd fucked her until she begged for mercy, and in the morning he was gone.

He'd always been hard to read, and he teetered back and forth between openly wanting the same things she did, and pushing her away, dismissing ideas of the future. It hadn't made her love him any less though. Alcohol had become her crutch, which he hated, and their whole relationship became some terrible, twisted game over time. She stupidly played along because she didn't want to lose him. She'd put so much time and effort into their relationship, she'd held on until the end, even if by the skin of her teeth, and by the time she knew it was really over, she was as broken as the shack they shared.

Getting up, the crooked door groaned loudly as she opened it. Stepping inside, her breath caught in her throat and tears rushed to her eyes at the sight of the tiny cot they used to share. It was still in the corner where they'd left it, even the thin blanket they'd used was still thrown back as if they'd just crawled out that morning. It was like time never passed there and she wanted so badly to just lay down on that cot and curl up in a ball. To pretend nothing had changed, that she'd never grown up, and wait for Gin to return. It was crazy, but she could swear his scent still lingered there.

"It is hard to imagine that two slept there...but I suppose you were children then." Byakuya broke the silence, entering behind her.

"I know right? Even as kids it was a tight fit...but I loved it all the same." A small chuckle before finally letting the tears fall.

"I didn't mean to upset you." He said softly, stepping closer and placing his hands on her arms, rubbing them in a gesture of comfort.

"I'm sorry. It's not you...it's just...hard to be here right now. I just...I get the feeling like he'll come through that door any second now. Even though I know better than that. I can't explain it." Placing her hands over his and squeezing, a sign to let him know she appreciated his efforts to comfort her. If she was being honest, his presence was the only thing keeping her from throwing herself on the floor and crying for days.

"I understand. There were days after my wife passed where I would look to the door, expecting her to come through it as usual. It is difficult to get used to the idea of never seeing someone you love again, but it will hurt less with time."

She'd turned to face him at the mention of his wife and a painful longing was evident in his gaze.

"Will it? Your face didn't make your argument very convincing." She hadn't meant to say it with such bite, and his eyes widened in surprise.

"I'm sorry...you still miss her don't you?" She asked softly, brushing a lock of hair behind his ear.

"Everyday. But there is a difference between you and I. I still miss my wife, and thinking about her still causes me great pain...and that's because emotionally, I am...weak. I push things down and pretend I do not feel them. You though, you are one of the strongest people I've ever known. You're so open about how you feel and you're able to bounce back from the pain instead of letting it cause you more."

Whoa, that was not what she was expecting to hear, but she couldn't pretend that it didn't flatter her. It looked as though he was opening up to her much sooner than she'd thought and she suddenly felt a little flutter in her stomach and boost to her pride.

"Well...thank you. Though to be honest, there are a few things that I've bottled up and refused to deal with myself. But that's why I'm here. It's time to face my demons...so to speak."

"Of course. I do not wish to rush you, but please keep in mind the longer we stay here, the more dangerous it is." They had no clue if the place was being watched or not.

"I know. It's hard to say goodbye...to know I'll never come here again. This place...my life with Gin...it's defined who I am to this point. It was my motivation for everything that lead me to where I am...where I was rather. It means the world to me, so letting it go...walking away from it..." Stopping mid-sentence. It was like a eureka moment in her head. That was it!

She'd been defining herself by Gin and the place they came from her entire life. But there was so much more to her than those things, and she should be defining herself on her own terms, not allowing someone else to do it. But who was she without Gin or their years together? She wasn't exactly sure, but she was willing to find out. Finally, she was starting to understand what Haineko had been trying to tell her. It was time to be her own person, to put herself and her feelings first for once.

"Matsumoto...what's the matter? Are you alright?" His concerned voice bringing her back to the moment at hand.

"Yeah...I'm ok. I just had a realization, I didn't mean to worry you. We'll go soon, I promise." Moving to sit on the cot in the corner.

"I'll wait outside while you finish up." Nodding as he exited.

Laying back on the cot, she easily found the spot on the ceiling where she used to stare when she couldn't sleep. She wasn't sure how long she laid there, reminiscing and drowning herself in memories, tears both happy and sad falling endlessly. This was goodbye, no matter how much she wanted to stay there. Letting herself get too depressed over the past would keep her from moving forward, and she was so ready to move on. She would always love Gin, and he would always be apart of her but she couldn't keep holding onto him.

Rubbing her eyes and getting herself under control for a moment, she was finally ready. Getting up and moving to the center of the room, she took one last look around trying to burn the images into her memory. One last deep breath and exhale before she made her way to the door.

"Goodbye old friend...I'll miss you." Turning the door handle and getting out before she could change her mind.

Byakuya was waiting for her outside, his arms opened as she got closer and her pulled her to him. He let her cry it out for a few minutes before pulling her by the sleeve and motioning for her to follow.

"Come. It is time. Let's go home."

Nodding in response, she obeyed quietly, trailing just behind him. Home...she didn't think she had one anymore. But when she thought about it, her life with Byakuya, the life they'd built in the last few years...it really did feel like home and not just a place to live. But maybe that was more because of him than the place itself.


	10. The path to Bankai

**A/N: Wow, it has been awhile. I can only say that life has been pretty busy lately, but now that training for work is over I'm hoping to have more time to focus on writing. As always I hope you enjoy, please read and review!**

* * *

Walking along the wooded path to their training area he heard a frustrated scream fill the air. Pausing in his steps for a moment he waited for her to let it all out before approaching with their lunch. Another year had come and gone, she still hadn't attained her bankai, and her frustration was slowly growing closer to anger and defeat. She'd come a long way from when they'd first started training together, her Haineko's shikai now able to stand toe to toe with Senbonzakura's, but that shiny golden ring still eluded her.

It wasn't that it was surprising, most shinigami spent a decade or more working to unleash bankai, but he felt bad watching her struggle regardless. He knew she was pushing herself to do it in half that time so that she would be ready when it came time to face Aizen and he admired her tenacity, but there were very few who could claim they had accomplished such a thing. He was one of them, but he had the advantage of being of born a noble, so his spiritual pressure had been higher from the start.

Most of the population wasn't born in Soul Society or the soul kings realm, their souls arrived from the world of the living or through konso. In fact, outside of the royal family and noble ones like his own the birth of a new soul was extremely rare, so those born within the realm were naturally stronger as they had the benefit of being surrounded by reishi while in the womb. That was why his family frowned so heavily on him marrying a commoner, besides the obvious class difference, they were afraid that the two of them would not be able to conceive a child. In the end they were right, but not for the reasons they thought. He was sure they would have been successful if only they'd had more time. Alas though, it was not the time to be thinking about his late wife. That would just make him want to retreat and be alone and there was no time for that.

"Lunch." He called as he got close enough for her to hear. She nodded without looking at him, concentrating on controlling the cloud of ash around her.

He always enjoyed getting a glimpse of what she was working on, so he sat and put out the food as he watched her intently. Over the years he'd had the chance to see her evolve in the use of her weapon. The forms it took had gone from abstract clouds and walls to defined shapes, each with their own purpose. Waves, spheres, cyclones...not to mention the projectiles idea that he'd adopted and adapted for use with his own blade. Yes, she'd grown in leaps and bounds right before his very eyes and he felt a sense of pride, knowing he'd helped her develop along the way..

That wasn't to say that he hadn't developed any new tricks himself though, he'd also grown much stronger in the years that had passed by. In fact, he was now able to direct and control Senbonzakura at a much faster speed and with far greater accuracy than before. So much so that he'd narrowed his "safe zone" to almost half of what it once was. Which reminded him,...

"Mmm this looks good, thanks." She smiled, joining him and digging in without hesitation.

"Of course."

He was glad he'd made extra as he watched her decimate the food in front of her. It was no wonder that their food budget had increased again, she was definitely eating more than before in response to the growth of her power. Add to that his own increased appetite and one of them may need to get a job soon just to pay for food.

"Matsumoto...can I ask you something?"

"Sure...what's on your mind?" She replied as she reached for her second helping.

"This might be too personal but...I have been curious for awhile now...to know if Haineko has a 'safe zone?" It wasn't really appropriate to discuss the abilities of one's zanpaktou at length, particularly something that could be seen as giving away a weakness. But he'd never encountered someone who's shikai was so similar to his...until her.

"A safe zone? You mean like...a limit on the distance she can reach an enemy?"

"No. I mean an area where her ashes cannot go. Senbonzakura has one...a small area around the user that the blades never enter, in order to protect the wielder from damage." If he was asking about hers, it was only fair that he share details of his own.

"Hmmm...guess I never really thought about it...but now that you mention it...yeah. I would say she does. Do you think it would be important to focus on?" Her mind still on training.

"In time it may be worth it, but I asked because...well, surely you've noticed how similar our shikai are. I wanted to see if their base functions were the same."

"Well...maybe later we can spar and you can satisfy a little more of your curiosity." Winking before laying back and stretching out on the blanket they were sitting on.

He wasn't sure why he'd been expecting her to try and side step the question. Matsumoto was a very open person, happy to share her thoughts or details of her life. And really he shouldn't have been surprised that she answered without hesitation, she was never one for rules or constricting social constructs that existed in their society. She always seemed to be following the beat of her own drum, no matter who or what she was up against.

"While that sounds tempting, I was actually thinking about a visit to the hot spring. You've been working really hard and I think an evening of rest and relaxation would benefit you greatly."

In fact, she'd been working a little too hard and bringing up the hot spring was the equivalent to dangling something shiny in front of a child when you wanted to distract them. In his defense, he was only doing it because he was starting to worry about her. Training was all she thought about, all she talked about, all she did...and he truly felt it was time to get her one track mind onto something else. Even if only for one night, he was sure it would help.

"That sounds great and all… but it's too early to stop training for the day. I don't want to waste a minute of daylight, I'll need them all at this rate." She said with a sarcastic laugh, standing and dusting herself off.

"Well, I didn't mean right this minute. I thought you would be pleased by the idea."

"Byakuya, I thought you of all people would understand that I don't have time for frivolous things right now. So come on, let's spar against each other, I could use an actual opponent." Picking up Haineko and motioning for him to follow.

"I really think you should consider it nonetheless, a chance to clear your head can only help you." Getting up and grabbing Senbonzakura.

"Why are you pushing this? I already told you I don't have time for that. So if you aren't going to help me, just leave me the hell alone." Letting out a frustrated sigh, her body language and her stance challenging.

"What do you think I'm trying to do?" His annoyance that she wouldn't even think about it coming through in his tone.

"It certainly doesn't seem that way to me! Spending half the day in the hot spring is not on my agenda right now. I don't need to rest, I need to train! And why do you care anyway? If you want to go, go!" Stepping close to him, as if challenging him further.

He knew her anger wasn't really his fault, she was merely directing it at him. Still, it caused his hot headed nature, the part of himself he worked so hard to keep down, to boil to the surface. She somehow managed to push his buttons without trying. Maybe it was the way she confronted him so easily, as if she wasn't intimidated at all. Or maybe it was something else entirely. But whatever it was, she was infuriating, and he couldn't stop himself from grabbing her and pulling her against him as he shouted.

"Because I'm worried about you! Because I care about you! I hate seeing you struggle and I hate even more that I can't do anything to help you! That's why I care...that's why I want you to take a break before you burn yourself out." The volume and intensity of his voice decreasing at the end as he realized what he was doing. Despite the realization he couldn't seem to let her go, continuing to hold her close instead of apologizing and walking away.

Wow, that was so much more than he'd meant to say. Once again she'd caused him to lose himself in his emotions, even when he knew she wasn't trying to. She blinked up at him, eyes wide in shock, and he felt bad for yelling as he watched her wrestle with how to respond. For the first time in awhile he couldn't tell what she was thinking, there were too many emotions fighting for dominance in her gaze, and he worried that he'd just ruined much more than their evening.

Even more humiliating...he could feel his body reacting to the feel of her breasts pressed against his chest, more and more with every heaving breath she took. Thankfully after a few beats passed, she recovered from her shock pushing him away and shaking him off. It was as though a spell had been broken and he knew he needed to apologize.

"Matsumoto…I'm sorry...I didn't mean to…" Attempting to explain himself. He'd never understand how she could make him so emotional and outspoken one moment, and practically speechless the next.

"It's fine…" She bit out with a huff.

"Let's just go."

Without waiting for a response she started walking back to the campsite to change and collect things for their hotspring visit. She couldn't bring herself to look at him after what had just transpired. Not because she was upset or angry with him, but because she was afraid he would see how much he'd just turned her on. She hadn't been expecting it and it made her feel a little embarrassed.

He was right (of course he was) and she knew it. Rest would only help her, but she was so close to finally attaining her bankai that stopping seemed like it would be a setback. And that was the last thing she wanted. So naturally she responded with a rebellious attitude when he brought it up. She was just being stubborn about it, she never dreamed he would react so intensely.

Getting him worked up enough to actually raise his voice at her had always given her a little thrill, one she'd enjoyed many times in her private thoughts. But this time it was different. He'd reached out and grabbed her, pulling her close against himself, holding her there so that he could get his message across, clearly and unmistakably. And she liked it...a lot.

Normally that would have made her angry and indignant, no man was going to put his hands on her and get away with it. But as she listened to the words that came out of his mouth and read the expression in his eyes, there was a rush of wetness between her thighs and she suddenly felt flush all over. Not to mention the butterflies that swarmed in her stomach at hearing him say that he cared for her. But when she wondered if he made love as passionately as he argued, her mind conjuring images that would stay with her for life, she had to turn away from him.

She was vaguely aware of his voice as he was again trying to apologize and the sound of his footsteps as he followed a few paces behind her, but she was too caught up in her own thoughts to bother responding to him. So what if he thought she was mad at him for a little bit, she needed a moment to collect herself and calm the beating of her heart. Then maybe she could manage to smile and look him in the eye as if nothing had happened...maybe.

There was a sense of relief when he didn't enter their shared tent right behind her. He'd obviously picked up on the fact that she was in need of some alone time, and for that she was grateful. In fact, now that she thought about it, in the last year or so he'd become really adept at knowing what she needed and it was amazing to her how well he seemed to know her. Even better than herself sometimes. It was strange, to think that this man who was notorious for being cold and callous, was actually warm and caring underneath all of that. And even stranger to think that she was falling for him, that she wanted to continue to spend her days with him when this whole mess was finally over. That would never happen of course, he was out of her league- especially once he got back to his noble life, but a girl could dream couldn't she?

Hiding her attraction to him was hard, but not impossible. She was more than capable of going out there, putting on a smile, and pretending that she hadn't just been thinking dirty thoughts about him. But just when she thought she'd shaken it off, she remembered that they were going to the hotspring. And while they'd long ago picked up suitable swimwear, to avoid the awkwardness of being naked together, the image of him in what basically amounted to a speedo had her pulse racing all over again. So of course that was the moment he chose to come in and gather his own things.

"Matsumoto, are you alright? Please forgive me for my outburst, I sincerely hope I didn't frighten you." He said quietly, avoiding eye contact.

"No...you didn't frighten me, and yes I'm fine. You just caught me off guard is all...but it's ok. You're right, I need some rest, so thank you for making me see that." Exiting their tent and waiting outside for him. She didn't want to keep talking about it, his apology wasn't necessary but she would accept it nonetheless.

* * *

Their walk to the hot spring was uneventful and full of awkwardness, neither of them having anything to say. Or maybe it was that they didn't know _what_ to say. Either way, it was as if her whole body sighed in relief when she finally sunk down into the soothing waters she'd discovered years back. It had been quite some time since they'd been there, her bankai training taking over the bulk of their days, and she realized how much she missed their regular visits.

Closing her eyes, she leaned her head back and let the tension of the day drain away. This was exactly what she was needing and she would have to thank him later for making her take the time to relax and recharge. She honestly hadn't realized how tense and knotted her muscles had become from constant sparring and swordwork, nor had she noticed how tired she'd been feeling. So tired in fact, that the next thing she knew she was awaken to the sound of Byakuya calling to her, gently prodding her to stir.

"Matsumoto...wake up. It's time to go back to camp for the night." He said softly.

"Hmm? Byakuya? What happened...did I fall asleep?" Her eyes still heavy as she tried to blink away the cobwebs in her mind.

Turning her head she could see a hint of a smile on his lips as he gazed down at her. She'd never seen such a soft, relaxed look on his face before and she felt her heart do a little flutter at the sight. She might have stayed there and enjoyed it a little longer, getting lost in those gorgeous gray orbs, if she hadn't realized that she was leaning against him, her head on his chest and his arm wrapped around her.

When and how did they end up so close together? Was it before or after she fell asleep? And just how long had she been sleeping? Oh God, had she been drooling? She felt like she might have been drooling. She knew she needed to move away from him, but she was still weighed down by sleep, her body feeling sluggish. She felt tired to her very soul, but she knew she had to make the journey back to camp before she could close her eyes again, and she could only hope that getting out of the hotspring would help her in that endeavor.

"You fell asleep rather quickly, and I was worried that if I too nodded off you might inadvertently slump down into the water and drown. So I moved closer to support you just in case." He said, answering most of her unspoken questions.

How did he do that? It was like he was reading her mind sometimes. Neither Gin or Toshiro could ever tell what she was thinking as easily or often as he seemed to.

"Thanks. I appreciate it." Finally gathering the strength to pull away from him and stretch.

"You're most welcome. Now, let's head back and get some dinner shall we?" Standing and climbing out of the spring.

"Yeah, that sounds good. And then I think I wanna retire a little early tonight." A yawn escaping her as she followed suit, drying herself off, putting her hakama back on and slinging her kosode over he shoulder. She was going to change when they got back anyway. Now if only she could manage the walk there.

"That's a fine idea. I'm glad you're taking my suggestion to rest seriously."

Complete and utter weariness seemed to emanate from her very core, and watching her stumble along it became clear that she had been pushing herself much harder than he realized. She was practically falling asleep on her feet right in front of him. He couldn't let her keep going that way, she might end up hurting herself. Not to mention that it was going to take twice as long to get back at her current pace, so he stopped her and offered to carry her on his back.

She accepted without a second thought and within a few minutes he heard the sound of gentle snoring. Fortuitously, he made it to camp before she ended up drooling on the back of his neck and he laid her in her cot before starting on dinner. She slept until it was ready and pretty much went right back to sleep after she ate. If he didn't know better he would have been worried when she spent most of the following day in bed as well. Instead he was glad to see that she was finally getting the rest she so desperately needed. And when she finally emerged from her near coma like state, she was bright and refreshed. The bags under her eyes were gone and she seemed to be approaching her training with a fresh perspective.

A few days later she approached him for help, asking him to spar with her, thinking that the intensity of a fight might push her over the proverbial hump. While it was highly out of the ordinary, bankai training was traditionally something a shinigami did alone, it didn't surprise him. Nothing about her was ordinary or traditional.

It was important to her that he not hold back, she wanted to feel the full threat of his power. And while it made sense it didn't make him feel any less nervous about the prospect of hurting her. She'd made him promise nonetheless and he was nothing if not a man of his word, so he obliged her request attacking and defending without hesitation.

She was quicker and more agile than before, and there was a lot more force behind her attacks now. Honestly, she was giving him a run for his money, making him work harder than he expected just to avoid a direct hit. Their match grew more and more intense as it went on and she had him on the ropes, or so she thought. He'd let her think that so he could find an opening in her defense, and when he found it, he went in with full force.

She didn't dodge however, and he almost has a heart attack thinking he'd just seriously injured her, but she was using a sphere of ash as a shield against his blades. It was spinning in constant movement around her, deflecting Senbonzakura's attack in all directions around her. He thought it was brilliant, but it only made him wonder how much she could take and how long she could keep her shield up, so he continued to assault it with a never ending stream of blades. And just when he thought he was about to break through her defense, she finally called out the name of her bankai.

"Shōkyaku suru Haineko!" She yelled, a ball of light exploding outward and blowing his attack apart.

Normally, one's bankai doubled their power, but in that moment it felt as though her reiatsu had gone well beyond that. Trying to see what her bankai looked like was more difficult than anticipated as there was now dark, thick smoke and ash surrounding her. But once his eyes adjusted it was quite the sight to behold. It only lasted a few seconds however, she didn't know how to control it yet and it drained her reiatsu almost completely. She let out a cry of pain and the next thing he knew she was crumbling to the ground.

* * *

*Rangiku's bankai command is "Incinerate"


End file.
